If It Makes You Happy
by MoonExpressions
Summary: XxWAITING FOR YOU SEQUELxX Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.
1. What Is Love?

A/N: I don't know how many people may be waiting for this but this is OFFICIALLY the sequel to 'Waiting For You'. Now I will WARN you, most of my stories have been pre-planned by me to go a certain flow. This story hasn't… it has a basis but no middle or ending so I'm going to be depending on you reviewers to decide the outcome after a certain point. :)

I'm mentioning this just to give people a heads up about when I'm going to update. The next Mass Release will be on November 21. What gets updated then is up to reviews and feedback! (Most likely 9-11 pm PST).

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If It Makes You Happy

Rated: M

Summary: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

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Chapter 1: What Is Love?

4 Months since the end of 'Waiting For You'

"Hurry Syuusuke." Tezuka said as he walked briskly out the front of their apartment. Fuji on the other hand was busy straightening his shirt. He thought he knew what he wanted in life...that was until Ryoma re-entered his life and he discovered lingering attachments to Ryoma. Over the past four months since then, Fuji felt fickle as he wavered between his "love" for Tezuka and his serious attachment for Ryoma.

Grabbing a light jacket, Fuji headed down the hall to slip on his shoes and shut the door, it seemed Tezuka had already got in the car and started it.

Today he'd see Ryoma for the first time since four months ago at Ryoma's and Atobe's reception. Atobe's company was having a picnic at a local park today and they had invited all their employees and their families to enjoy the finest food with the Atobe's.

Getting into the car, Fuji slid an arm around Tezuka's arm but he ignored it as he drove as stoically as ever. Suppressing a sigh, Fuji stared out the window instead.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

_Even if I wanted to forget now, the memory would never fade. The softest touch he gave to the smallest smile I received I cherished it all. Yet still, I didn't understand why I didn't choose him…was I blinded in the moment? Did I truly love Tezuka? Or was I blinded? Still I didn't know…even now I still didn't know._

_The day our story started was far from this day…it started the day Tezuka left me to go professional. He didn't want people to talk about him, he wanted a clean cut…a cut that killed me and brought me…Ryoma._

(Flashback)

"I want to break up."

Fuji's eyes widened slightly as he processed the words Tezuka was telling him. Just a few minutes ago they had kissed passionately and just last night they were wrapped in each other's embrace…and now he wanted out?

"Why?" Fuji asked looking straight at Tezuka who didn't seem to falter at all.

"I'm going professional Syuusuke…I need to focus on my future."

"Are you saying I'm not a part of that future?" Fuji asked with opened eyes.

"You need to travel your own path." Tezuka stated simply as if he has rehearsed every counter Fuji would take already.

" I'd wait for you." Fuji said stubbornly.

"I don't want you to wait all alone"

" I'm willing to" Fuji insisted stepping closer to Tezuka.

"I don't want you to… if I make it then maybe but I don't need a burden…"

"I'm a burden?" Fuji asked in shock again.

"Not really…" Tezuka said with a sigh.

"Then what am I Kunimitsu?" Fuji asked raising his voice.

" Just don't Syuusuke…" Tezuka stated with clarity. " I want to go my own way…"

_With that he left with no regrets, but I was thoroughly broken. The man I thought who loved me as much as I loved him was leaving me behind without a choice, a path…I was stuck in that second and could only reminisce the scenes and remember the memories…never did I expect Ryoma to concern himself so much over me that he'd lecture me and tell me what would be my first step to awakening._

" I don't want to get in his way…" Fuji said softly." I don't want him to push me away even more…"

The fiery gaze if his golden eyes suggested that he was going to beat some sense into Fuji but instead of the anger his eyes showed, Ryoma leaned over and pressed his lips against Fuji. The action stunned Fuji and made Ryoma jerk away before he started his lecture again…

_But it was that moment that my time started to move again… Ryoma had re-opened my eyes… in a subtle way but still a step…_

" Stop waiting then! Go forward…you're hurting yourself just sitting in one place…you're hurting me…" Ryoma whispered the last part setting his hand over his heart that beat hurtfully against his chest now.

Fuji could do nothing but stare silently as Ryoma who looked so anguished as if he was the one to be left behind. Then as if he made his point, Ryoma turned to walk a ways before he stopped to but the full impact on Fuji.

"Stop coming here to fall into self-pity…stop coming here with wallow and worry us needlessly if you don't want to be pulled out…"

" Ryoma…" Fuji finally uttered. He finally felt a bit of strength to question Ryoma about the kiss.

"What?" Ryoma asked not turning around.

Fuji closed the distance and waited for him to turn around, yet he didn't so the silence conveyed so much uneasiness that Ryoma took a step to separate them further.

"Why did you kiss me just now?" Fuji finally asked softly. He needed to know the reason… was it pity, was it lust? What was it?

It was then that Ryoma turned a round and gave Fuji a REAL wake-up call to life again.

"Because I've always liked you Senpai…"

_From that moment forward I knew there was a reason to live on for the next day…because Ryoma gave me life again…he saw…ME._

………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Syuusuke!"

Snapping his head around he saw Tezuka leaning down from where he stood outside the car to look at him." Are you going to come or daydream some more?"

"Ha-hai…" Fuji murmured as he opened the door and stepped out as well. The breeze felt good on this warm day, but more than that, it was who he saw that made him pause and stare.

In front of him was Ryoma…Ryoma inside of Atobe's arms greeting employees as they walked by. So if he didn't love Ryoma, why did it hurt to see him in someone's arms…why did he have the flames of jealously burning inside of him when he was married to the one he "knew" he wanted.

All these questions echoed in Fuji's head but all the questions only led to the root of the all questions…What is love?

Was it the love he held for Tezuka or this attachment he felt for Ryoma?

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A/N: Tada! That end chapter one and the intro by dear Fuji and his fickleness. I do hope you'll all review and encourage me to write chapter 2 for the next mass update! 


	2. Blindfolded

A/N: I'm glad you're all supporting it already. This chapter going to give a quick rundown of Fuji reminiscing a couple of scenes from Waiting For You  but other than that, It'll be mostly new scenes and their present life!

Read and Review as usual to support me!

I'm mentioning this just to give people a heads up about when I'm going to update. The next Mass Release will be on December 2. What gets updated then is up to reviews and feedback! (Most likely 9-11 pm PST).

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MysticDreamz- I sometimes tend to get a bit nervous when I really don't have more than a beginning for a story so this is my first time letting my readers help me decide every point.

Playgirl Eugene- I know how Fuji is being very fickle but decisions don't miraculously appear everyday; especially if he doesn't want to make the wrong decision.

setsuko teshiba- 'you never know what you got till it's gone' right? XD

abhorsen3- The final FINAL pairing has not been decided at all…so right now I leave it very open-ended. As for Tezuka feelings, he still has no idea what is between Ryoma and Fuji so he's in the dark about most thing s right now. As for the picnic, It may very well be interesting.

MysticBlood- Did you catch him being a jerk? You must read in-depth as well XD

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- Thanks for the compliment and hopefully you'll all love the sequel as much as the original. :)

Heart Br0ken- Well Happy Belated Birthday then! Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of the picnic and Fuji's fickle thinking!

Sweet Obsidian Rain- Well like I said, the middle and end is very open for suggestion so anything may come! The prompting to swing one way or the other helps lots though… the question is…if I tweak a few things will you still stick with the pair you want to happen? (Goes evil)

Ria Sakazaki- YAY! I never meant to over infect anyone with thrill pair love but I'm always open to recruiting new people! XD It's a good thing I specialize in this pair and give a good output with mass releases to (hopefully) satisfy everyone's thrill pair hunger!

just a gal- Actually the point may now be who's hurting and who's playing… lots of things are slowly being twisted so nothing is for sure but according to a lot of people, I'm pretty good at twisting plots to confuse the readers and rethink their original thoughts!

Mayorie- Awww.. I'm glad you can call it well written. It was my first experimental story in the angst area and I actually was quite nervous writing it! LOL

The un-clichéd ending was purposely to lead everyone one way then surprisingly show it wasn't going that way at all. If you think it's already following 'Waiting For You' footsteps then you are well aware anything can happen as well. XD

Keep a open-mind for this story… you'll need it!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- The pairings is undecided at the moment but it could very well end up like that…or it could get more complicated XD

Selyn- I do try to dissect love as much as possible and try to incorporate all the angles of love into my stories! After reading this chapter, you may tell me which way you think it will flow now!

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If It Makes You Happy

Rated: M

Summary: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

* * *

Chapter 2: Blindfolded

"There you two are!" Atobe said haughtily looking at Tezuka and Fuji as the greeted Ryoma and him.

"You look well…" Fuji said to Ryoma softly.

"Aa…you do as well…" Ryoma said before looking away back to Atobe.

" Monkey-king!"

"Don't call me that anymore brat!" Atobe frowned.

"Whatever, we have to go say hi to those people too."

Atobe nodded and waved Tezuka and Fuji away while following Ryoma.

Fuji knew Ryoma was avoiding him on the other hand. He knew from experience that Ryoma hated greeting people. A pang of hurt shot through Fuji's heart as he slowly followed Tezuka…if Ryoma didn't want to see him; he had no right to force Ryoma to either.

_**Everybody's got something they had to leave behind  
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time  
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)  
How it could be now or neither been (or neither been)  
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go  
**_

Fuji felt his eyes drawn to Ryoma once more as Atobe and he neared. Tezuka highly disapproved of public affection and it was only when they were alone that Tezuka actually held his hand or held him close…otherwise they were always arms length apart from each other in public. It seemed Atobe and Ryoma were the exact opposite of them. Atobe demanded that his hand connect in someway with Ryoma and the air of possessiveness never left the atmosphere when he was around Ryoma…which was all the time.

"_I want to be the one who makes you forget…" Ryoma said._

Fuji eyes snapped open as that sudden memory came to mind. How he wished Ryoma and he could've ended a bit different… or was it that he wished they began differently?

………………………………………………………………………………………..

_I don't exactly remember why I jumped at the chance to forget Tezuka through Ryoma…but whatever was it that drew me into the messiness, I haven't regretted it._

"I can't promise you anything…" Fuji said, "But I'll try…"

"That's good enough for me…right now" Ryoma confirmed putting his hand over Fuji's.

_That was our beginning…Ryoma fully opening and me…it sounded now as if he allowed himself to be used and I was the total bastard…taking advantage of that trust and innocence. The smiles I smiled, the ones he smiled…all of his emotions ran true but mine…mine were mirrored from outside... _

_­_………………………………………………………………………………………..

Out of the corner of Ryoma's eye he watched Fuji in his own way. Although he listened to the conversation Atobe and his executive members talked about, he felt Fuji's gaze and unhappiness….

Wasn't he happy he was with the one he loved? Was he the cause of Fuji's unhappiness? Was it his presence?

Ryoma stared at his hand for a moment as he wondered if Fuji regretted their time...

Of course Ryoma never regretted their time…it was during that period of time that he got to love whom he wanted to love so there was no regret for Ryoma at all…

_  
__**I never had a dream come true  
Till that day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby  
I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where love takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you  
**_

Come to think of it…wasn't it he the one who was used? Didn't he stand by Fuji although every logical, sane thought screamed for him to leave? Hadn't he wanted to escape only to not be able to? Hadn't he held on dearly to those beautiful hopeful lies that Fuji had the tendency to say?

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Fuji resisted the urge to tell Tezuka he wanted to leave first…after studying Ryoma for a while now he noted that Ryoma was VERY uncomfortable with him here…

"Kuni…" Fuji said after a moment.

"What is it?" Tezuka asked looking at him slightly.

"When are we leaving?" Fuji asked suppressing a look to look at Ryoma to see if his mood had lightened a bit.

"We just got here," Tezuka stated bluntly.

"I know but-"

"Do you have something to do?" Tezuka asked looking straight at Fuji.

"Not really…"

"Then stop complaining like a child." Tezuka stated before turning abruptly away.

Fuji didn't protest anymore…after all, he hated it when Tezuka treated him like a child. Actually…lately all Tezuka did was drift farther and farther from him. Sliding into the empty chair by the tables he reached for a bottle of water to drink…sadly he ended up only staring at it. Why was it that he couldn't look forward…why did he keep turning back…why was Ryoma filling his mind…slowly and painfully…

_  
__**Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time  
And tomorrow can never be  
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it should be now or neither been (or neither been)  
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go **_

Water….that brought back a very vivid memory….a memory of Ryoma and his trip to the beach. It had been his suggestion that they go but his mistake when he mistook him for Tezuka that night.

(A/n: This goes back to 'Waiting For You' I'm sure everyone remembers this scene. It'll frequently refer back to 'Waiting For You' as we get to see Fuji's PoV. I'm sure everyone will know but I'm only warning you here and nowhere else so don't get confused!)

Fuji felt a wave of guilt as the bed creaked and Ryoma got up to pull on clothes and leave the room. It wasn't until Ryoma shut the door that Fuji turned to stare at the empty spot next to him. The creases of his figure were there but the slight outline and warmth wasn't enough…

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered achingly. He had hurt him very much tonight…even when he promised to let go of Tezuka he was attached to the shadow of Tezuka…so attached he had called Tezuka's name and not Ryoma.

'BAKA' Fuji chided himself furiously. 'How could you do that to him?'

Fuji stayed in that state until Ryoma re-entered the room an hour or so later. He listened carefully as Ryoma shuffled his clothed off again and creep behind him…a slight pain hit him as he realized Ryoma was shifting away from him.

"Where'd you go?" Fuji finally said after it seemed Ryoma had settled. He felt Ryoma stiffen slightly before he answered.

"No where… just a walk…" Ryoma replied.

Fuji rolled over to reach for Ryoma. Ryoma's back was turned towards him but Fuji's brow furrowed in pain when he saw Ryoma's whole body stiffen and flinch as soon as his finger touched Ryoma's shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" Fuji whispered backing up a little. Fuji heard him bite back a sigh and face him…perhaps he was irritated now.

" I just don't want you to get cold Syuusuke… I'm still pretty chilled from the night's breeze."

A moment of silence passed between them. Relief sunk into Fuji's system as he realized that Ryoma wasn't disgusted by him or overly angry at his mistake but being careful not to make him cold. A lump formed at the base of Fuji's throat before he threw himself into Ryoma's arm and against his chilled body.

" I don't care" Fuji mumbled against Ryoma's neck. All he needed was to know and feel that Ryoma was here for him!

"I won't think of him anymore…I promise" Fuji muttered softly. In his mind he hoped Tezuka would leave, he hoped he could love the one in front of him! Before Fuji knew it though, the lump had opened and the tears he hadn't noticed were embedded in his eyes were spilling forth and down Ryoma's neck. Fuji pressed himself against Ryoma to swallow the coldness from Ryoma's skin and allowed himself to be embrace by Ryoma.

_It's only thinking back now that I realized how much Ryoma swallowed his own pride to be with me…and yet I didn't choose him. His eyes that were filled with love for me, his forgiving face as I fumbled to stay sane and his quick embrace when he knew I needed to be held the most…I loved all of that about him…I loved it all…so why couldn't I tell him I loved him? Why did I condemn myself to be bound to Tezuka instead of him?_

_  
__**You'll always be the dream that fills my head  
(Yes you will, say you will, you know you will, baby)  
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)  
There's no use looking back or wondering (or wondering)  
Because love is a strange and funny thing  
No matter how I try and try  
I just can't say goodbye  
No no no no  
**_

_Then again, the next thing I remembered was in early November when Momoshiro had casually mentioned to Ryoma and me that Tezuka had injured his knee during the US Open. My mind had gone completely blank and the first thing that popped into my mind was to call him…I had forgotten I was with Ryoma once more…_

"It's okay… call and check up" Ryoma had said with a smile and turned to Momoshiro to talk about random things.

Hesitant, Fuji lingered to see if Ryoma would really be okay if he dropped a quick call to Tezuka. It seemed he was totally relaxed about the whole outbursts so Fuji decided to go make that call in the bedroom. He glanced back momentarily but Ryoma's face held no emotion.

The call to Tezuka had been actually quick and short. It took about 15 minutes of asking of his health and random things. After Fuji hung up though he sat on the bed and started at the clock 2:40 in the morning… and it seemed Ryoma was still talking to Momoshiro. Laying on the bed with a sigh, Fuji felt strangely bad at having had that outburst…he was sure that showed how much he cared about his ex!

It wasn't till 3 am that Momoshiro left and Fuji listened closely as he heard Ryoma lock the door behind Momoshiro and walk towards the hall that led to their bedroom. Fuji breath caught slightly as he waited for Ryoma to enter the room…only to be disappointed that Ryoma walked back towards the living room.

Fuji wondered what he still needed to do that he wasn't coming to bed…Fuji waited patiently…that was, until the clock struck 4 and Ryoma still wasn't in their room. Tired of waiting, Fuji wandered out of their room to find a empty living room. Fuji suppressed the urge to search frantically as he examined the living room for Ryoma. Finally Fuji spotted his back in the silhouette of the rising sun against the balcony. Worried as to why Ryoma was alone, Fuji inched the balcony door opened and called out to Ryoma.

"Ryoma…"

Fuji saw him turn his head slightly before redirecting his gaze at the sunrise peeking out in the sky.

"How is he?" Ryoma asked softly.

"He's doing okay…you didn't come in to sleep…before I knew it, it was already 4 in the morning and you never came in…" Fuji finished feeling a bit uncomfortable talking about Tezuka.

"I didn't want to disturb you" Ryoma said and turned around with a smile.

"Let's go in, it's cold," Ryoma said to Fuji.

Fuji merely nodded but when Ryoma brushed by him, he felt how cold Ryoma was to his touch…exactly how long had he been standing out here and why?

_**  
A part of me will always be with you...**_

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Laughter filled the air and Fuji glanced up to see Atobe talking with the group Tezuka had dragged them to. Ryoma was nowhere in sight and Fuji found his eyes frantically searching for his figure…searching just as he had on Christmas Eve that one year…when he had ultimately hurt Ryoma only to be forgiven…

xXx

"Ryoma!" Fuji yelled in a panic as he rushed out of the apartment and down the stairs…

"Ryoma…" Fuji yelled once more not knowing which way he had gone…Fuji turned around and saw a lone figure heading away from the complex.

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered and went running that way…he didn't care that he wasn't wearing shoes, nor the fact that he only had on a light sweater… all he cared about now was Ryoma

"RYOMA!!" Fuji yelled once more running towards the figure. The figure stopped and turned…

"Ryoma…"

It seemed both didn't know what to say so they stared at each other for a long time. It wasn't until a car drove by that snapped Ryoma out of his stupor.

"I'm sorry I disturbed your talk" Ryoma said softly after a while. Although he had said that the betrayal was faintly detectable in his voice.

"You didn't…I'm sorry Ryoma…" Fuji said. Oh god, he was feeling horrible at the moment… he felt the fear rush into his mind. Was he going to lose Ryoma here and now?

Fuji pushed the cold snow biting at his feet away from his mind as he studied Ryoma's look.

"Stop saying that!" Ryoma managed to croak out without his voice breaking from the tears he was trying to swallow back.

'But…"

"You…"Ryoma stopped when he noted that Fuji eyes were dilated in panic and he was shivering from cold.

"Idiot" Ryoma whispered as he took off his jacket and draped it over Fuji's shivering shoulders. Ryoma had sighed as well when he realized Fuji didn't have any socks or shoes either.

"I know I only burden you…" Fuji whispered when Ryoma took off his slippers and gave them to Fuji since he had on a pair of socks.

"Don't say anything else…let's go home" Ryoma said and wrapped an arm around Fuji. Slowly they walked back to their apartment in silence. Even when they were inside and both changing into new clothes, no one spoke.

_I should've changed then but I didn't…I failed to realize that night that not only was it Christmas eve but the day Ryoma was born…the day I should love him more than anything._

"I know" Ryoma said with a sad smile. "Let's start again Syuusuke…after all the New Year is coming…"

" Aa" Fuji agreed. He was going to have to leave Tezuka…he had to be practical and love someone who was going to be there for him…

Wrapping his arms around Ryoma, he felt Ryoma stiffen and turn around.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked.

"Happy Birthday" Fuji said softly, "Although I didn't get you anything…"

"It doesn't matter" Ryoma said.

"It does" Fuji insisted burying his head into the side of Ryoma's neck.

"It doesn't…as long as you're here with me…"

Fuji felt tears come to his eyes, "Ryoma…"

How could he love him so unconditionally?

_And still I question myself endlessly how he could put up with me for so long…_

"Syuusuke!"

Fuji jerked his head up to see a frowning Tezuka.

"What?"  
"Are you going to stare off into space like that or are you going to eat with the rest of us?" Tezuka asked rubbing his forehead a bit.

"I didn't realize I was drifting…" Fuji said standing. That's right…he had been looking for Ryoma…

"Hurry," Tezuka merely stated as he walked towards the rest of the people who were lining up at the buffet to eat. Fuji merely followed silently…he didn't know anyone really…and besides that point, he was only interested in seeing one person…the one person he continually hurt.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Back at home

"I'll be home late tomorrow so don't wait." Tezuka said as he walked by Fuji's studio room to go to their room to sleep.

"Aa…" Fuji merely replied before he bent to look at his pictures once more. He had to figure out the right ones to send in soon or else he might lose this opportunity!

"Are you coming to bed?" Tezuka asked coming into the room to slid a arm around Fuji's neck.

"Soon… I want to finish this first though." Fuji said with a smile.

"What's that?" Tezuka asked.

"The cover for a famous American magazine; remember me telling you if I got accepted then I can go overseas to do my photography?"

"Oh…I think its best you don't since I really don't want to relocate to the states."

"But…this opportunity-"

"Photography can be done here as well Syuusuke." Tezuka stated firmly. That meant he was going to be stubborn about the issue…

Fuji felt regret fill his heart as Tezuka kissed his forehead softly before leaving the room. He thought Tezuka would be happy for him…

Fuji sighed and swallow the pain back as he jerked open the drawer to stuff his papers in. From the corner of his eyes he caught sight of a gold metal and ring…Fuji swallowed hard as tears entered his eyes when he traced the ring.

"_There's someone wait for me to win…"_

_xXx_

Fuji frowned when he felt someone hands sliding into his pocket.

'Thief' was the first thought that flashed through his head but when he felt something heavy land in his pocket he had turned slightly to see who it was. The shock of seeing Ryoma froze him in his spot as his eyes opened in pain. Ryoma had then looked up and with a smile and tears streaming he had congratulated Fuji and stepped off.

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered as a slight pain crossed through his own heart at the thought Ryoma's face that was full of hurt and betrayal.

xXx

A single tear rolled off Fuji's cheek and fell onto the medal…it was the first time someone had gone the lengths to give him such memories and a medal…instead of fulfilling the promise though, he had betrayed the one whom loved him so much…

_It's only now that I see how I destroyed him so…he gave me his love and heart but I destroyed it completely. It was as if I used him for love only then trapped him in my place._

"I'm sorry Ryoma…" Fuji whispered softly as silent tears fell on his desk. He felt as if he was all wrong right now…as if everything was wrong…

_At the time…I will never forget when he looked at me with that brave smile through the tears congratulating me. He had believed me and hoped that I would see he waited for me but now…now he'd never wait for me again…I'd lost my chance._

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Atobe Mansion

Atobe fumbled with the bed sheets as he watched Ryoma run a towel through his wet locks…he felt incredibly guilty and that guilt was affecting him very much right now! He was tired of keeping Ryoma blindfolded about his situation.

"Ryoma!" Atobe said suddenly.

"Hm?" Ryoma asked throwing the towel with the laundry pile before slipping on a pair of pajama pants and slipping into the bed.

"I have something to tell you…" Atobe said

"What?"

"I…" Atobe hesitated briefly before he took a breath and looked Ryoma straight in the eyes. "I've been having an affair…"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he stopped pulling the blanket up. All he could was look at Atobe…who didn't look so superior at the moment.

* * *

A/N: And finally that ends this chapter! I haven't quite decided how to proceed past this point really so throw in a few what if's for me to think on! Review and I will be updating this next time! 


	3. My Past, My Present, My Future

A/N: I'm very happy people haven't actually GUESSED the storyline yet! So that must mean I still have it in me to keep everything under lock and key and leave you all wondering! XD Hopefully I didn't give away too much when I replied to everyone!

I'm sorry this wasn't part of the mass release I had in mind but I figured that I have too much to finish before winter break and I wasn't going to finish by the 2nd. Other than that, I just wanted to say this story flowed with how the reviews/e-mails/replies I got were worded! The suggestion was taken and wildly twisted with my craziness to produce this chapter!

Read and Review as usual to support me!

I'm mentioning this just to give people a heads up about when I'm going to update. The next Mass Release will be on December 24 (To celebrate Ryoma's B-day and Christmas!). What gets updated then is up to reviews and feedback! (Most likely 9-11 pm PST).

* * *

Playgirl Eugene- Yes, Fuji is starting to have regrets and is reassessing what love and want is. I'm sure he pretty much regrets hurting Ryoma so much but do people really understand how much pain they can bring a person before reflecting on it?

I have, with the last scene planted the seed of doubt so yes, I'm making everyone re-assess who do they really like as well… you know the pairing is kind of obvious… so obvious that it could be right… but since when was anyone able to guess head-on my craziness and twists? The story wouldn't exist if Fuji wasn't fickle but with the way things are going, I'm pretty sure he'll have a clear path soon.

setsuko teshiba- I'm even more sadistic since I'm writing it XD but yes, he gets the blow again…for now

abhorsen3- There's still more to come so sit tight! After all it's only the 3rdchapter so far.

Tezuka has always in my view been kind of blunt and so forth so Fuji better learn to deal with it ne?

Hopefully Fuji has learned his lesson… he's ( I hope) remorseful enough by now! Read on to their impending fates!

BlueFreesia- Aww… it was an emotional read and write on my part! Hopefully the next chapters won't be so bad so you won't have to flood your computer!

DemonGirl13- Sadly, Ryoma gets hurt again… the reasons? Coming up I suppose!

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- True, at least Atobe had the guts to tell Ryoma he was cheating.

Heart Br0ken- Well I'll certainly be waiting for a review then!

Sweet Obsidian Rain- Well it may turn out that way in the end!

just a gal- Well… I could do that… but we'll see how it turns out since this story has no definite flow, it could flow the way you're thinking so keep an eye out for these things!

Mayorie- It was a bit shocking to everyone but I wanted to plant a seed of doubt like an evil authoress! XD

Pairings are still open so anything can still happen at the moment! I do want to show some sort of maturity in this story actually. Fuji having to admit his wrongs, Ryoma sucking it up that he didn't get what he wanted and so forth. You're rightm despite eveeryone's best interest, someone will always get hurt.

Oh don't worry, The extensive flashbacks were just told from Fuji's view but there won't be too many flashbacks from here… if there are, it'll be a single line or paragraph to make the point come across.

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well it's not easy to hurt my favorite pair but I love putting love to the test so I had to plant seeds of doubt. Devils huh? Well I can definitely tell you those devils have plans of their own… which may or may not relate to each other at all!

Funny what people will say sometimes but do later huh? The pairings are all still undecided so it could be like that, it could not be…divorces? Maybe!

Selyn- Am I evil or what? I just make everyone question why they hated Fuji huh? Guys are not the best communicators as well all know so give them a break. As for Atobe, there's still more to come from him…and Tezuka just being Tezuka!

As for killing a character… I'm not sure yet… maybe…maybe not…this story is still very open-ended!

Lonely Rain- Be careful what you wish for, it may come true! XD

irishKaoru- I know it was evil of me, but doesn't that make you want to find out who it could be? I'm sorry you felt it was a sad chapter (which was the right emotion!) but I felt Fuji had to have his regrets and a view of how he saw the events that went on in Waiting For You.

NDebN- LOL… it's so obvious is it? Or is there more than meets the eye?

animefav- That was the point… to show the unexpected! XD

* * *

If It Makes You Happy

Rated: M

Summary: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

* * *

Chapter 3: My Past, My Present, My Future

_Recap_

"I…" Atobe hesitated briefly before he took a breath and looked Ryoma straight in the eyes. "I've been having an affair…"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he stopped pulling the blanket up. All he could was look at Atobe…who didn't look so superior at the moment.

xXx

"Who?" Ryoma finally uttered out staring at Atobe hard.

Atobe looked a bit guilty before he uttered the name, "Tezuka…" He truly felt horrible as he watched Ryoma mull over that information in silence. No emotion was present on Ryoma's face and that's what scared Atobe the most. Ryoma hadn't been like this since he almost ran over Ryoma a couple months back…

"Ryo honey… it's not a serious relationship! I just wanted to play with him a bit and see if Fuji would see what he did to you-"

"Break it off," Ryoma suddenly snapped out looking at Atobe with angry yet saddened eyes. "Don't hurt Syuusuke!"

Atobe was quite shocked that Ryoma could defend him so like that but even more than that he felt a sense of anger enter him. How could Ryoma still defend that man after all he did to Ryoma?

"Ryoma…"

"Break it off!" Ryoma demanded staring straight into Atobe's eyes. " Promise me you won't hurt him!"

"Ryoma, have you forgotten what he-"Atobe started

"I will never forget!" Ryoma said cutting Atobe off harshly. "I won't but I won't allow you to hurt him the same way!"

"Why not?" Atobe demanded more than angry now.

"Because he's suffered enough beforehand…besides… I allowed him to use me!" Ryoma said staring at his clenched fist now.

Another silence past the pair before Atobe reached out to draw Ryoma into his arms. Ryoma pulled away roughly, "Promise me first!" Ryoma insisted stubbornly.

"Okay…I won't hurt him…" Atobe said after a long sigh. Pulling Ryoma roughly into his arms he wondered if he justified his actions at all by telling Ryoma an altered truth…

xXx

_**The Next Day**_

Ryoma sighed as he looked through a few scattered sports magazine that was sitting on the table when his mother-in-law walked in tossing something in front of him.

"What is this?" Ryoma asked looking up at her frowning face.

"Please stop spending so much of Keigo's money when you have your own Ryoma!" She said disapprovingly with her arms crossed to show how displeased she was.

Ryoma rendered speechless looks down at the bank statement that showed big withdrawals every 3 or so days from the account.

"I don't understand…I haven't been spending any money…" Ryoma said truthfully.

"Keigo wouldn't spend money so carelessly every 3 or so days…he's always working!" His mother said with a pout. The look on her face told Ryoma she wasn't going to believe her Keigo was behind this…

xXx

_**Meanwhile…**_

Fuji sighed as he pulled the mail out of Tezuka and his mailbox. Closing the mailbox he headed back up to their apartment and flipped through the mail pass the bills to find nothing of interest to him. Opening the door to the apartment, Fuji was a bit surprised as a white envelope was on the floor as if someone had slipped it in earlier. Fuji frowned as he tried to remember if it had been on the floor before he went down to get the mail. Racking his brain, he still couldn't remember so he put the mail down and sat with the envelope in hand instead. Sliding it open Fuji carefully opened the letter to see it was carefully written invitation. Skimming over the contents, it read:

_Meet me at the Golden Crown Hotel at 7pm_

Raising a brow slightly, Fuji relaxed a bit and smiled as he thought of who would do this. It seemed Tezuka was trying to make up for yesterday. Standing, Fuji glanced at the clock and noted that it was 5 till 6…he'd have to get ready if he wanted to meet Tezuka on time.

xXx

_**Golden Crown Hotel**_

Fuji sighed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was almost 7:10 and Tezuka wasn't here yet. He had purposely waited outside for Tezuka thinking they could go in together but it seemed the up-tight Tezuka could be late as well. Fuji sighed as another limo pulled up to the hotel's front and noted that Tezuka still wasn't here yet. Leaning against the pillar he had been standing by, Fuji caught the crest of Atobe on the limo and saw Tezuka exit the limo. Walking forward from the pillar with a small smile, Fuji only stopped short when he saw Atobe exit the limo as well and wrap an arm around Tezuka as they both headed in together. Fuji paused to blink as he tried to see if this was all true…once Atobe's limo drove away he watched through the glass as they both signed in and went to the elevator together…

Fuji stood lost outside the hotel…was Tezuka's reason for inviting him here was to tell him that Atobe and he were a lot closer than boss and employee? Had he wanted to show how much he loved Atobe instead of telling Fuji himself?

Swallowing the pain, Fuji stalked away with one thought on his mind.

'Ryoma…'

Was Atobe hurting him? Was he in the dark as well? Besides that point was the rising anger inside Fuji as well. He had never felt like he wanted to kill Tezuka more than this moment!

Waving at a taxi he climbed in as soon as it stopped by him.

"Where to?" The man asked.

"Atobe Residence," Fuji commanded softly before staring at the passing scenery…how was Ryoma feeling?

xXx

_**Atobe Residence**_

"Master Ryoma…"

"Yes?" Ryoma answered the butler from where he sat in the study reading.

"There's a guest for you downstairs… should I tell him to leave?"

"No…" Ryoma said standing, " I'll see the person in the little drawing room."

"Yes sir," the butler said with a bow before leaving the study.

Standing, Ryoma was quite happy someone had come to visit him since he had been bored and down the whole day since his mother-in-law accused him of using so much money in such short time.

Slipping a bookmark on his place, Ryoma set the book down and headed down the hall and downstairs to see his guest.

Walking down quickly, Ryoma opened the drawing room door only to be shocked and stunned by the sight of Syuusuke. A pang of pain traveled his heart as he took a small breath and walked forward to greet him.

"Fuji…" Ryoma greeted bluntly and coolly.

"Ryoma…" Fuji started as he stared at the man. It was the first time since Atobe and Ryoma's reception that he stood so close yet so far from Ryoma. The man hadn't changed much at all…he was a bit skinny and the golden eyes seemed a bit tired with no spark as it had before…but overall, he was still amazingly…Ryoma.

"Is there a reason you're here?" Ryoma asked turning away to sit in a chair far from Fuji. Strangely the movement caused tears to cloud Fuji's vision momentarily as he felt a horrible ache start from his heart and head to his throat that was constricting. Breathing softly, Fuji forced a small smile onto his face as he jammed his hands into the pockets on his jacket.

"I…it's just that in wondered if you knew anything about Atobe and Tezuka…" Fuji said softly staring at the boy whose emotionless expression changed into a surprised one.

"What are you trying to say?" Ryoma finally asked after he finished searching Fuji's slightly open eyes.

" Nothing much at all…" Fuji said with a sarcastic laugh, " I was just a bit disturbed when I saw them enter a hotel together earlier after receiving a letter I thought came from Tezuka to meet him there."

Looking back at Ryoma, Fuji was a bit taken aback as he looked at Ryoma who was not shocked at the discovery but saddened. The brows were drawn in together and in front of him was not the brave man who had told him 'congratulations' on the subway nor was he the man who had tearfully parted ways with him at the reception…he appeared to be thoroughly broken and tired from everything…a man who had given up.

"Ryo-"

"I know already…" Ryoma said softly cutting through Fuji's words.

It was Ryoma's turn to watch the worried gaze on Fuji's face be replaced with surprise and betrayal. It was painful to see him but even more painful to see how fragile Fuji seemed to be now since he last truly saw him at Atobe and his reception…now…Fuji looked like a shell of the person he once was…could it be he had destroyed Fuji's happiness so thoroughly by reappearing into his life? Even the betrayal that flashed now in Fuji's eyes hurt Ryoma…it was his fault he had trusted Atobe not to do anything…it was his fault Atobe was doing this to Fuji!

" Since when?" Fuji questioned after a long time of staring at his hands. When he heard no reply he saw Ryoma merely staring at his own hands as well. Waiting for a reply, Fuji shifted slightly and brought Ryoma's dull gold eyes back onto him.

"Since yesterday night when Atobe told me…" Ryoma admitted almost shamefully. " On his behalf…I'm sorry that-"

Fuji reached out quickly to grasp Ryoma hand tightly as he looked into the man's golden eyes. " Don't be, you've been hurt enough…" Fuji said quickly. He watched as the surprised on Ryoma's face gradually faded and was replaced with a painful expression as he pulled his hand away from Fuji as if it burned from contact. Fuji immediately regret his movement…he should've known Ryoma disliked him to the point that is Fuji was to touch him, it'd dirty him…

"I'm sorry…" Fuji managed to say before he walked pass Ryoma swallowing and blinking tears away. He had done enough to Ryoma…he had no part in Ryoma's future because he chose to exclude himself…he shouldn't have come…he shouldn't have been selfish enough to want to hold his hand…he shouldn't…couldn't…

Ryoma could do nothing but watch as Fuji basically flew from the room…it seemed as if they were both at their limit with each other…he hadn't mean to pull away so suddenly and break Fuji's sympathy…but the touch…it was too much…it felt too…right.

Fuji walked down the driveway without looking back...he knew he wished he didn't hurt Ryoma…he never meant to do those things to Ryoma…but fate had twisted their path ruthlessly. Fuji knew they both weren't perfect but what was life without mistakes? Letting out a sigh, Fuji wiped at a lone tear that escaped his tear duct…he wasn't going to be weak now…he couldn't be. Fuji smiled sadly at the ground as he continuing trudging down the driveway. He had never been more sorry in his life than the day he hurt Ryoma so…if he had a second chance, he never wanted to put Ryoma through that pain again.

'Baka!' Fuji chided himself. He should be angry with Tezuka! He should be plotting Tezuka's murder…but why was it that it didn't hurt as much as it did years ago when Tezuka abandoned him…

_Thinking back now, I still can't explain my reason of accepting Tezuka's proposal to become an official couple when I had promised to wait for Ryoma._

" How would I go about choosing between a man you loved for a long time and one you promised to wait for as he fulfills his goal?" Fuji questioned Atobe.

"Choose the one you love, you'd do the other a favor by letting him go," Atobe said to Fuji as they sat in an extravagant restaurant. "If you let him go he can pursue his goal to the fullest, you're just a burden waiting here."

"But I promised…" Fuji muttered fingering the ring Tezuka had given him earlier.

"Promises can always be broken!" Atobe said with a wave of his hand, " Why are we talking about this anyways?"

"Oh… it was just a trivia I wanted to figure out…" Fuji said with a usual smile.

"Well if I was the person, why doubt the person who they loved since forever?" Atobe said taking a sip of his expensive wine. " Ore-sama wants to enjoy dinner commoner so settle out of your trivia and tell me about Tezuka's return…"

_Ah…. where would I be if I had not listened to Atobe… how would Ryoma and I have lived out our lives?_

_NO MATTER! I can't regret my path now…I should make the best of it! After all, didn't Ryoma accomplish his goal? Hadn't I got the one I loved? So there should be no regrets…right?_

xXx

"Okaeri…"

Tezuka turned to see Fuji sitting at the table with no lights on in the house at all. Turning in the light, Tezuka moved towards the bedroom, " Tadaima…" He called out as he started down the hall.

"Did you enjoy your trip to the hotel with Atobe?" Fuji called after him a bit bitterly.

It had the effect Fuji wanted to see on him. Tezuka froze in his plight towards the bedroom to change out of his suit.

* * *

A/N: That ends this chapter! What a revelation huh? Most likely this will be one of the lucky stories to be updated! I promise the next chapter will be much longer so it'll be worth the wait till Ryoma's birthday! Already my brain is spinning with the ways that this story is taking….ALTHOUGH! A review/suggestion/prediction from you can change how the next chapter goes so the power is actually in your hands to decide and vote! 


	4. I Still Love You

A/N: Happy Birthday to Ryoma and a very Merry Christmas Eve to everyone else! I hope you all anticipated this chapter because this chapter is going to give MAJOR revelations. Yep! Major things are going to be revealed in this chapter! So read on and find out!

Read and Review as usual to support me!

Wish me a happy B-day while you're at it! My B-day is on the 27th of December!!!

I'm mentioning this just to give people a heads up about when I'm going to update. The next Mass Release will be on January 12. What gets updated then is up to reviews and feedback! (Most likely 9-11 pm PST).

* * *

Playgirl Eugene- This story is purposely designed to make you all misunderstand every situation XD Yes, our beloved Thrill pair has more than they think they do for each other!

They will actually get their chance in this chapter to "talk" I suppose you can say. Fuji's pain will be quite amplified in this chapter so no need to worry about him not feeling enough of that!

setsuko teshiba- Yup, they've gone and broken the poor little prince…but I'll make sure to turn the table later maybe!

MysticBlood- No problem! Now that you're back though, you may also enjoy all the chapters to come!

abhorsen3- You know you may be a bit close or not at all… we'll see!

The most frustrating part in a relationship, the misunderstandings you go through without communication! It's still at the moment open-ended on coupling as well but a push on votes swayed me one way as you can see in this chapter… although my last line in that scene can still sway it anyway!

DesperateLoveKoi- I'm glad you're already liking it! I know it draws on a lot of emotion and it may make you emo by the end but I hope it's worth turning emo for a while over!

DragonDame57- It is leaning that way because the votes are tipping scale XD the pairing though, is still open-ended…even if it seems to be leaning one-way!

DemonGirl13- It'd all end if I killed them all off but where's the excitement in that? XD If you like the drama now, get ready for the new development I threw in!

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- You know me! I always have big things each chapter!

Heart Br0ken- Well I guess you'd rather play safe huh? XD that works as well!

just a gal- Well…it's still up for deciding actually. With the number of votes right now though, there is a landslide towards Thrill… we'll just have to see!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Like I said, Pairings at the moment are very open and any suggestion leans me a bit one way or the other in each chapter XD at this moment there may be a lot of drama but things can still turn easily!

xcreepyxsusiex- I hope this one stays good for you.

Lonely Rain- It certainly makes it easier for them to get back together but what's the fun in that! You know I'll make it hard and the mystery just doesn't end yet!

Gasanechi- XD I could just do that! LOL let them all suffer! We'll see if others agree!

irishKaoru- Shocking but don't you kind of feel sorry for all of them now:)

NDebN- LOL… actually it feels as if Tezuka's in the dark since he has no idea of the relationship that transpired while he was gone!

* * *

**If It Makes You Happy**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

* * *

**Chapter 4: I Still Love You**

_Recap_

"Okaeri…"

Tezuka turned to see Fuji sitting at the table with no lights on in the house at all. Turning in the light, Tezuka moved towards the bedroom, "Tadaima…" He called out as he started down the hall.

"Did you enjoy your trip to the hotel with Atobe?" Fuji called after him a bit bitterly.

It had the effect Fuji wanted to see on him. Tezuka froze in his plight towards the bedroom to change out of his suit.

xXx

"Why are you asking me this?" Tezuka finally asked after a long moment of silence between the two.

"Because I know you went with him," Fuji said a bit harshly.

Another silence befell the pair…unable to stand being in the dark; Fuji stood and walked to where Tezuka was standing until they were side by side. "Am I not enough for you?"

Tezuka glare shot to Fuji to reprimand his question but Fuji stood defiantly against Tezuka as well. It finally came to the point Tezuka could do nothing else but answer.

"You are…"

"Then why are you having an affair?" Fuji demanded. It didn't make sense! If he loved him then why was there an extra? The pain in his chest intensified as it searched for a truth… a possibility to grasp this situation!

"I love him," Tezuka cleared immediately.

Fuji could do nothing else but stare at this man…he couldn't believe how easy it was for him to say that so casually to him!

"What about me?" Fuji asked now convinced this conversation was leading to nowhere.

"I love you too," Tezuka answered easily.

"More than him?" Fuji demanded. He needed…wanted to know he was worth more than Atobe to Tezuka.

Tezuka seemed to contemplate that for a while before he looked at Fuji. " I don't know," He said truthfully…

But those were not the words Fuji wanted to hear…

xXx

"Atobe isn't home yet…" Ryoma informed Atobe's business associate and rival, Yukimura.

"I'll wait," The man said with a smile and Ryoma adverted his gaze. It wasn't that he disliked the man; it was just that he was a bit too similar to Syuusuke…

"Do you want anything to drink maybe?" Ryoma asked looking for a means to escape this man's company for a bit.

"No," Yukimura said cheerfully with a smile that rivaled one of Fuji's on one of his mischievous days.

"…" Ryoma didn't say anything more as he sat and stared at his hands in silence.

"I actually came to see you…" Yukimura finally said softly.

Ryoma's eyes widened slightly as he jerked his head back up to look at Yukimura.

"Me? Why?" Ryoma asked.

"Because I feel Atobe keeps you hidden from what you need to know." Yukimura said with a smile.

"Oh…like what?" Ryoma asked with curiosity…perhaps it may have to do with the money that was disappearing every few days or so.

"Like Atobe seeing Jiroh behind your back," Yukimura said casually.

Ryoma merely looked at the man before a frown graced his face. "Stop it…I don't want you to lie on his behalf! He's already told me he was cheating on me with Tezuka." Ryoma said bitterly remembering that conversation along with Fuji's from last night.

Yukimura didn't look surprised at what Ryoma said. He merely sighed and shook his head a bit. "Are you sure he's not lying?"

"Excuse me….Atobe-sama has come home." The butler announced interrupting their conversation.

Yukimura stood and walked to the door before he stopped and turned to give a look back at a contemplating Ryoma. "Think about it…"

xXx

"Why did you do that to him after you promised!" Ryoma hissed as soon as Atobe came home. He'd have confronted Atobe earlier but he hadn't bothered coming home yesterday night after Syuusuke left.

"Do what?" Atobe asked a bit tired.

"Tell Syuusuke after I asked you not to!" Ryoma bit out angrily as he glared at Atobe.

Atobe looked shocked before he grabbed Ryoma by the shoulders, " I didn't do anything!"

"Liar!" Ryoma said crossly jerking out of Atobe's hold on his shoulders. Backing away, Ryoma tears into their bedroom angrily.

"Ryoma!" Atobe said warningly. He was tired from working all day and seeing Ryoma like this was not lightening his mood at all. He tore into their bedroom to find Ryoma all packed and pushing past him.

"Where are you going?" Atobe demanded jerking Ryoma around.

"Out." Ryoma replied flatly.

"I told you I didn't do anything!" Atobe said angrily. He had no idea who ratted it out but when he got his hands on the person, they were going to be sorry!

"I don't believe you… if you didn't then why did he know? Why did he see you and Tezuka entering a hotel last night?" Ryoma asked. Rendering Atobe speechless at the flow of information, he turned to head down the hall and downstairs once more. Trying to compose his anger, Ryoma practically flew down the flight of stairs to the front door before being pulled roughly against the wall.

"Ryoma… I swear I know nothing of it…unless Tezuka said something to him…." Atobe said grasping his chin tightly so that Ryoma would look at him.

"Che! And I should believe you because?" Ryoma asked pushing Atobe off before whipping back towards the door.

"Brat! I…that's it!" Atobe said angrily as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair and ordered the butler to have the footman bring his limo around to the front.

Ryoma kept right on walking as he ignored the servants' looks they gave him walking towards the main gate on foot.

"Ryoma-sama… would you like a ride?" one of the drivers asked

"I'll walk," Ryoma declared as he continued power walking to down the long driveway.

"You'll ride!" Atone said grasping his wrist and in one fluid motion threw Ryoma and his bag into the limo that suddenly appeared by their side. Getting in himself he ordered the driver to go full-speed towards the heart of Tokyo where Tezuka and Fuji lived.

"I'm not going!" Ryoma said stubbornly.

"That's too bad brat! If you want to be treated like a child I'll treat you like one!"

xXx

Fuji clicked the send button with a sigh. He had done it… he had sent his cover to be inspected in the states…he wasn't going to let Tezuka stop him. He was going to take the chance…

"_Oh…I think its best you don't since I really don't want to relocate to the states."_

"_But…this opportunity-"_

"_Photography can be done here as well Syuusuke."_

Fuji felt tears come to his eyes as he glanced at the papers sitting on his desk. Tezuka and he hadn't spoke since yesterday night's argument. Tezuka had gone to bed and Fuji had locked himself up in the study with pity at being so stupid.

_Reminiscing back to last night_

"What do you mean you don't know? Don't you love me at all?" Fuji asked angrily.

"…" Tezuka didn't answer. He merely stared at Fuji as if he was crazy.

"Don't you love me anymore than you did before you left me?" Fuji demanded shaking Tezuka slightly as tears entered his eyes. He couldn't understand how Tezuka could be so stoic at this moment…he was Fuji's first real love…his first everything yet…yet he felt as if he meant nothing to the man who stood in front of him!

"I don't feel any more than I did before I left," Tezuka finally confirmed.

Fuji's world came to a crashing halt…he felt as if he had just wasted these last 3 years for nothing but a ring. It was nothing…THIS was nothing compared to the agonizing love he felt searing into his chest when he saw Ryoma. What he thought was guilt wasn't anymore…he had already come to terms that he loved Ryoma dearly… not because he was thankful Ryoma was there for him, not because he felt guilty for leaving him, but because he finally realized how much he loved Ryoma's presence in his life. How he longed to see Ryoma's smile…how he wanted to return to the days of the past.

'You never know what you got till it's gone…'

"Why?" Fuji finally said after a long time, "Why did you come back and marry me then?" Fuji asked.

If he didn't love Fuji enough, why did he bond them…WHY?

"Because you were here," Tezuka said simply.

_End of reminiscing_

Burying his head into his hands he reached for the papers and started signing the papers. Tezuka had made it very clear to him yesterday and he had decided as well to end this sham… Signing the divorce papers Fuji withheld his tears. He hoped that this wasn't another hopelessly selfish decision he was making against Ryoma. God, he hoped his freeing Tezuka wouldn't destroy Ryoma's happy marriage! It was the last thing Fuji wanted to do…he never wanted to hurt Ryoma again!

Hearing the front door open Fuji stood with the papers in hand. He was ending it…

xXx

Ryoma stubbornly looked out the window as he had resolved to sitting still on the trip to Tezuka and Fuji's apartment. He had no wish to confront the two nor did he have any intention of questioning either Tezuka or Atobe about their relationship. As soon as they were there he would leave and to the subway!

"Hurry up!" Atobe demanded the driver as he opened the window that connected the driver to him.

"Yes sir!" The driver said glancing at Atobe.

"You idiot! Red!" Atobe shouted

Glancing back to the road, the driver eyes widened as an elderly couple crossed the street with a bunch of elementary kids. Not wishing to injure any of them, the driver pressed on the brakes hard and swerved the car onto the side…the last thing the driver saw was glass shattering…

"Ryoma!"

xXx

_" CEO Atobe Keigo was in a accident yesterday night near the heart of Tokyo as his driver swerved into a building instead of running over the pedestrians crossing the street. The driver died instantly while Atobe-san and his passenger Echizen-san, is currently hospitalized."_

Fuji's eye widened as his hand shook slightly…Ryoma was in the hospital!

"I'm heading to work," Tezuka said standing to leave.

"Aren't you worried at all?" Fuji asked pointing to the TV set.

Tezuka merely stared at him. "If you're so worried why don't you go see them? After all, don't you have a few documents to drop off?" Tezuka finished referring to the divorce papers. He hadn't wanted it but Fuji had threatened to embarrass him thoroughly if he didn't …perhaps that's why Tezuka was being so cold to him. After Tezuka shut the door, Fuji contemplated what to do and decided he'd do just as Tezuka suggested. He' drop those papers off then go check on Ryoma…

xXx

Relief filled Fuji when he opened the door to discover Ryoma sitting next to Atobe's bedside. The nurse had told him Ryoma had only minor injuries while Atobe was not yet conscious.

"Ryoma…" Fuji said softly as he watched Ryoma stare at Atobe's body.

"He protected me…" Ryoma finally croaked out. "It's my fault he's unconscious…if I wasn't so rash…"

"It wasn't your fault!" Fuji insisted gripping Ryoma's shoulder. " It was the driver's!"

Ryoma merely shook his head sadly, "His mother hates me for sure now…she does…"

"Ryoma…" Fuji said softly as he sat in the seat next to Ryoma in a stupor at what to say.

He watched Ryoma and felt jealous of Atobe. Ryoma's eyes were glued intently on Atobe's face. The golden eyes were not bright as he once knew they were but worn and tired from a sleepless, worrisome night. His pale complexion made him look weak and frail now as he shivered slightly from the coldness in the room.

Fuji suppressed a sigh and took off his jacket as he placed it on Ryoma's shoulder. It was only when Ryoma looked at him with such pained eyes did Fuji realizing the extent of love he held for Ryoma. It tore at him to see he one he loved so tortured by guilt, so frail… Not wasting another moment Fuji drew him into his arms ignoring the chilled body that pressed against him.

"I love you…" Fuji whispered achingly. Fuji uttered the words not as a way of pity but truly from his heart…as a truth he finally found. He had found the reason he felt the way he did…even if it was too late to apologize or say these words truthfully, Fuji felt it still needed to be said.

Ryoma was stunned at the sudden development of the situation. So stunned that he failed to realize he was burrowing himself into Fuji's warm embrace as well. Catching himself finally, Ryoma pushed away.

"It's too late…we both strayed from that path already…" Ryoma finally said after gathering his thoughts again. Ryoma looked up to see a small sad smile on Fuji's face as he stared at his hands.

"I know…" Fuji said softly before turning back to look at Ryoma. " Despite that, I wanted to tell you…"

Another awkward silence passed between the two of them before Fuji spoke again. " I'm leaving Tezuka…we…we decided to go our separate ways…"

Fuji hoped relentlessly that Ryoma would comment on that decision of his. His hope was brutally cut as Ryoma switched the topic.

"Atobe might recover soon right?" Ryoma asked instead staring back at his husband.

Swallowing the pain in his chest, Fuji stood swiftly and stared at Ryoma. He didn't understand why they ended like this when their hearts were so close… so if Ryoma wasn't for him why did his name resound in his head? Why did the distance and mistakes burden his life?

Turning to go towards the door and leave, Fuji was surprised when he felt a hand slid into his and stop him from leaving. He turned slightly to look at a surprised Ryoma who was also shocked he had reached out to stop Fuji from leaving.

Fuji watched as he let go and fidgeted with his hands a bit and again, a silence went through. Swallowing hard, Fuji closed his eyes momentarily and walked away form Ryoma. Just as his hand touched the doorknob, he faintly heard Ryoma's voice behind him.

"I still love you too…"

Fuji didn't take time to think again, He whipped around to face Ryoma and walked back to pull him into his arms for a kiss. Although it was rough, Fuji felt Ryoma respond and although they both knew nothing could come of this, they kissed for all the times that could never be.

xXx

2 Days Later

"Congratulations…"

Fuji turned and resisted the urge to frown as he watched Yukimura slink into his study.

"What do you want?" Fuji asked with the nicest smile he could muster.

"I just wanted to check on you…after all, don't we go way back as well?" Yukimura asked.

"As rivals," Fuji reminded him.

"Only in tennis…" Yukimura said with a smile. "I heard you got accepted."

"I did." Fuji confirmed packing his stuff.

"Won't you miss Japan?" Yukimura asked leaning against Fuji's desk.

"Not really…" Fuji admitted.

"Why not?" Yukimura asked spotting the medal and ring on Fuji's desk. Picking both up with a smile he turned to Fuji. "To think you kept this could only mean you loved him…after all, no one would keep anything like this unless they loved the person who gave it to them."

"How would you know anything about this?" Fuji asked snatching both items away from Yukimura. "Did you get my plane tickets?'

"Of course… it's set for 5 days from now." Yukimura said with a small smile. " As for how I would know…aren't you, as Echizen Ryoma quoted, 'there's someone waiting for me to win'?"

Fuji looked a bit taken aback before he recovered. "Why would you think it's me?"

"You have his medal," Yukimura said pointing out the obvious, "You may have messed up a little but it's not too late."

Fuji didn't answer; he merely kept packing his things and shuffling things around.

"I gave you a way out when I slipped you that letter didn't I?" Yukimura said as he started to walk out of the room.

"You? You sent it?" Fuji asked now suddenly very alert.

Yukimura merely smiled and nodded.

* * *

A/N: Hmm… what evil plans are coming into play now XD

It seems you'll all have to wait till the next update!

Don't forget to review if you want more!


	5. Love is

A/N: This is a very revealing chapter so go on and read!!!!

Read and Review as usual to support me!

**Side Note: Thank you to all the people who has already wished me a happy Birthay!**

* * *

blackspica- well Yukimura hasn't finished playing yet so you will see more of him!

MysticBlood- I'm sure she'll steal this one as well when I finish and you print it out XD I'm glad everyone can love it! That's what truly matters to me, there's a couple of people whose never seen/read Prince of Tennis who loved this story so it's really the story I want to tell in Fanfic… the pairings are just my choosing XD

DesperateLoveKoi- well I tried to make thngs a bit less eo in this chapter so I hope it'll be okay :P Happy New year to you as well!

hurhur- Why Yukimura was meddling is answered in this chapter so read on!

DemonGirl13- The drama's not over either!

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- Trust me….i believe Tezuka has found the one! XD stay tuned for it because we will go back to Tezuka, his lover and the rest of the cast before this story closes!

Heart Br0ken- Well I had a smiliar mood when writing it so it's only fair XD

Sweet Obsidian Rain- Well Yukimura has his own mysterious ways and it'll all be revealed in this chapter!

animefav- Drama is the best thing isn't it XD but anyhow, I think they didn't end on such a bad note and Yukimura will pop in and out and the most unsuspecting times so keep an eye for him sine you can call him the puppet aster in this fic.

just a gal- I always happen to do a strange twist in my stories huh? XD

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well Koori No Ouji is a lighter fic and so is The Subtle Ways Of Life than all the angst I've bee n writing lately… other than that I'm planning another one that might be more comical XD

xcreepyxsusiex- I never stated they were back together again so watch what happens in this chapter! Atobe will also be showcased as alive too! No worries on me killing him!

Selyn- You should know me by now… nothing happens without a motive in my stories… and it will surprise you how this mess was created!

flying jade- all the questions you asked has been answered in this chapter so read it!

* * *

**If It Makes You Happy**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Love is…**

_Recap_

"I gave you a way out when I slipped you that letter didn't I?" Yukimura said as he started to walk out of the room.

"You? You sent it?" Fuji asked now suddenly very alert.

Yukimura merely smiled and nodded.

xXx

_Same day Fuji and Yukimura had their talk_

Ryoma slowly came to a halt in front of Atobe's hospital door. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Atobe, it was just that in the couple days he was unconscious, Ryoma had done a lot of thinking. Ryoma had come to the conclusion that together they were only holding each other back…

With a sigh, Ryoma twisted the handle and opened the door only to reveal Tezuka sitting next to Atobe's bedside. He ignored a slight pain at seeing them together, at least he had known about it and wasn't in the dark.

"Ryoma…" Atobe started as he tried to sit up. Ryoma held up a hand to keep him from raising himself any further.

"You don't have to get up Keigo…" Ryoma started coming to a halt at the foot of Atobe's bed. Looking at the both of them for a bit, Ryoma decided he wouldn't ask Tezuka to step out. With a bow of thanks to Atobe, Ryoma started to speak his mind.

"Thank you Keigo for pulling me out of my depression and protecting me. I feel as if you've given me a place I can hide from my troubles and allow it to burden you but I think I'm ready…I'm ready to face the world." Ryoma finished as he raised his head to look at Atobe.

"Ryoma… you're misunderstanding again, Tezuka and I-" Atobe started

"I think I should clearly explain this." Tezuka suddenly cut in. He turned his attention to Ryoma and offered the seat next to him. Ryoma hesitated briefly but he eventually came around to sit next to Tezuka. As soon as he sat, Tezuka turned himself so that he was focused on Ryoma now.

Ryoma met his gaze and thought of how he used to fear this gaze when Tezuka was his buchou…now, it just seemed stoic as usual and determined.

"I was merely a decoy for Atobe's relationship with Jiroh. For keeping quiet and playing along, Atobe paid me extra for that service only. We never did more than Syuusuke or you thought we did." Tezuka said bluntly hitting all the main points, so like him to be direct and to the point.

"So all that extra money that was disappearing from the account…" Ryoma started.

"Was being given to me," Tezuka confirmed.

"Ryoma…I only used him to hurt Syuusuke a bit…you didn't even let me do that! Tezuka did owe me though!" Atobe said as superior as if he stood in front of both of them dictating his defense and not lying sprawled on his back.

"You ruined my marriage and you said he didn't let you do that?" Tezuka accused, " Syuusuke wants a divorce and I had no valid reason to stop him from getting one!"

"I did no such thing yet! Now you think I did something too?" Atobe said irritably raising his voice.

"You did! Or else what is this?" Tezuka said firmly handing a letter to Atobe who quickly scanned the contents out.

"I did no such thing," Atobe said looking at both of them, " I would never reveal our "relationship" after Ryoma told me not to!"

"Then how did it end up at Syuusuke and my apartment?" Tezuka asked bluntly.

"Keigo…" Ryoma said looking at Atobe.

"Leave the poor man alone, you're upsetting him."

All of them turned to the door where a smiling man stood viewing the sparks of their heated conversation.

"Yukimura…" Atobe said, " What brings you here on such short notice?"

"To see the fireworks…" Yukimura said with a widening smile. Walking forward, Yukimura only stopped at the foot of Atobe's bed and looked at all three occupants in the room. " Actually I just came back from your place Tezuka…Syuusuke needed a bit of comforting…"

"Since when was Syuusuke close to you?" Tezuka asked.

"Since I gave him a chance and gave him that lovely letter." Yukimura said with the same soft smile.

"You?" Atobe choked out.

Yukimura merely nodded happily.

All three became very quiet before they finally looked back at the smiling man and asked the same question. "Why?"

Yukimura chuckled as he shifted his weight before speaking. " It seems all of you are in the dark about one thing or another…"

"What do you mean?" Ryoma asked.

"I may have seem to have done it for Syuusuke but my real motive was to punish Tezuka." Yukimura said with a flattering smile sent at Tezuka.

Ryoma felt a tense presence next to him and wondered what Tezuka did to Yukimura.

"After all Tezuka, you should be paying with your marriage if you mess with "my" Sanada ne?" Yukimura asked suddenly looking very serious before a smile covered it once more.

"Sanada?" Ryoma said wide-eyed. He turned to face Atobe and Tezuka and both had a grim expression on their face. Could it be HE was the one in the dark?

"I was disappointed in you Atobe…" Yukimura said softly, " To have known about that relationship yet you hid it even deeper with your affair. Together, both of you protected your real lovers and pretended to be together…how utterly disgusting!" Yukimura finished with narrowed eyed towards Tezuka and Atobe.

" They covered for each other…." Ryoma asked.

"Yes Ryo-baby… they did…leaving Syuusuke and you in the dark." Yukimura said with a sympathy-laced voice. " I couldn't stand that so I had to warn the both of you."

"How dare you Yukimura Seiichi!" Atobe said angrily.

"How dare you Atobe Keigo." Yukimura said with deadly eyes, " Both of you should repent. After all, both of you got careless if I could find out about your relationship so fast!"

No one spoke again for a long time. The tension, the information filled the room as if it was a weight pressing on all the people of the room.

"Well then, I should get going since the fireworks are almost out…" Yukimura said turning away from them to leave.

"Wait…can I talk to you privately?" Ryoma asked.

Yukimura merely nodded as he excused himself to wait outside for him.

"Keigo…as I was saying earlier…I'd like a divorce as well."

Atobe's eyes widened at that announcement. "Yadda,"

"Why not?" Ryoma asked handing the divorce papers to Atobe who refused to even look at it.

"We aren't getting divorce over this small issue!" Atobe proclaimed haughtily.

"We're getting a divorce because you are infatuated with your lover!" Ryoma said firmly. "Do you intend to keep him on the side and have me pretend he doesn't exist?"

From the looks of Atobe's face, Ryoma knew that's exactly what Atobe wanted…the greedy bastard.

"I'm not going to do that Keigo…no matter how thankful I am to you, I'm not going to pretend for you!" Ryoma finished firmly handing the papers to him once more.

Atobe looked defiant but as seconds ticked to minutes and Ryoma didn't once back down, Atobe finally sighed, " Fine! I'll take care of it!"

He knew he was being selfish when he had first refused…he had his image to think of after all and this divorce would make an impact in his life. Atobe looked back to Ryoma's face…during those few moments of silence he realized he might break Ryoma if he didn't allow him to go…and if there was one thing he didn't want to be…he didn't want to be another Fuji to Ryoma…someone to bind him unwillingly was not what he wanted.

Snatching the papers away Atobe stared at Ryoma hardened face. " Go to him…your heart longs for him doesn't it?"

Ryoma didn't answer…he merely muttered a thank you and started to head out of the room.

"What do you mean telling him that Keigo?" Tezuka asked," He has a lover too?"

"You married his lover," Atobe said pointedly at Tezuka before he turned back to Ryoma's retreating figure.

It seemed Tezuka was still trying to grasp the content of Atobe's sentence.

"Ryoma…" Atobe started, " I really did love you in my own way…if Jiroh had not come back to me, you'd be the one I love the most."

That made Ryoma stop and contemplate for a bit by the door. Slowly he turned around with pained eyes to face Atobe. It seemed with that sentence, he was being used again to fill a lonely heart…he hadn't escaped that at all…

"I know…" Ryoma finally said through the pain that constricted his heart and the tears threatening to spill. "But even that was not enough to fill both our hearts…"

xXx

"Done with your talk?" Yukimura asked Ryoma as he walked out.

Ryoma swallowed the tears and nodded shakily.

"I'm sorry I played with you as well…" Yukimura finally said to break the silence. " I had o right to interfere but when I found out about Tezuka and Sanada, I originally only wanted to warn Fuji."

"Yet you also told me…" Ryoma said softly.

"Because I found out that Atobe knew about their relationship the whole time and was planning on telling you that he was having an affair with Tezuka to ease his guilt about cheating on you with Jiroh."

"So you punished him as well?" Ryoma asked

Yukimura nodded slowly. " It was also during that time that I found out Fuji had strong feelings for his ex-lover from a creditable source."

"Creditable?"

"Well… let's say a concerned friend…" Yukimura said with a smile. " But that gave me a good reason to adjust some barriers."

"So in all, you planned the divorces…the ruin of our lives?"

"I would like to say saved," Yukimura corrected immediately. " After all, if I, one who barely knows you, could see that your marriages were one of conveniences then why couldn't the rest of the world?"

" I see…" Ryoma said seeing his point of view for the first time. "So Tezuka was messing with your lover?"

"EX-lover now…I have someone new," Yukimura said staring out the window, "He's younger but I feel content with him."

Ryoma merely nodded as he stared out the window as well. From the corner of his eye he could see Yukimura's reflection of the glass. His eye was what caught Ryoma the most…it seemed that within the unreadable eyes, softness for his ex still remained.

"Can you really let go?" Ryoma asked Yukimura putting a hand on the glass.

"I have to…he's no longer interested…I guess that could put me in the same situation as you…but…I'll learn to move on."

"You know…I don't know if you could ever move on because…I feel like I haven't."

Yukimura chuckled lightly and looked at Ryoma amusedly. " So our problems are so similar that we're going to share the same fate?"

"I hope not…to be used in another's place is the worst." Ryoma whispered placing his forehead on the cool glass.

"Ryo-chan…when I look into Syuu and your eyes…I see the same longing…so you see, it's different." Yukimura said. " His has faded and mine stays…both of yours is still there…you can go back to him."

Ryoma smiled painfully at his reflection on the glass before he shook his head slightly. "No…I don't ever want to feel that pain again…I was stupid then…I can't be stupid now."

"I doubt he'd do it again Ryo-chan."

"Che…funny how we don't even know each other well and you're already giving me pet names!" Ryoma muttered loud enough for Yukimura to hear.

Yukimura chuckled once more. " But I feel as if I know you so well already…after all, what I did was revenge towards my ex, but didn't you already have your revenge when you married Atobe?"

"How was that revenge?" Ryoma asked a bit surprised at Yukimura's words.

"Well you married his husband's boss didn't you?" Yukimura said pointedly, " You could have tortured them!"

Ryoma smiled a bit faintly, " I could have… but I don't have the heart to hurt Syuusuke…"

"Then there's your answer boy-wonder." Yukimura said turning to leave. " You willingly let him go because you thought he'd be happier but it seems as if you two did nothing but hurt each other needlessly."

"Why do you say that?" Ryoma asked following Yukimura towards the exit.

" Well…Syuu-chan has finally realized that Tezuka only loved him because he'd been there and you finally realized you can't hide who you love just by marrying another ne?" Yukimura said with one last smile before leaving. He didn't look back but continued to his car with a sigh…he could do no more for those two…he'd done enough…the rest was up to them.

_Reminiscing back to Syuusuke and his talk_

"You? You sent it?" Fuji asked now suddenly very alert.

Yukimura merely smiled and nodded.

"Why? Why would you call it helping me?" Fuji asked

"Would you rather walk blindly like he wanted you to? Would you rather not know?" Yukimura asked fiddling with a pen.

"No…" Fuji said immediately, " I suppose it was best that I knew now…"

"It was… it all fit in after all… now you are free to go to him."

"Him?" Fuji asked looking up at Yukimura in surprise, " What do you mean?"

"Don't play innocent with me Fuji…we both know who "he" is."

"I…I don't deserve him…." Fuji said with a sad smile, " I have no wish to hurt him more than I have…"

"Then that kiss at the hospital meant nothing?"

"You-"

"I happened to be walking by," Yukimura said, "I decided to leave after seeing such a heartfelt kiss."

"That was everything it should've been." Fuji said staring at his hands, " But now I'm leaving and he's married…"

"So you'll just waste the chance I gave you?"

"I…I appreciate your chance…but I doubt Ryoma would ever look at me in the way he used to…"

"Suit yourself…I created the opportunity…it's up to you how to use it." Yukimura said standing to leave.

"As long as you don't regret it…. after all, you could always have work from here and travel to and from America for your job."

Fuji nodded a bit, " I need a break from Japan though…maybe distance will make me feel better."

Yukimura chuckled lightly as he walked to the door, " Suit yourself! But as I remember, distance makes the heart grow fonder!"

_End of reminisce_

"Both of you are stupid in your own way…" Yukimura decided with a small smile. He wanted to go see Akaya now…

xXx

"Seishounen… I can't believe you ran home…" Nanjiroh said with a sigh, " Every man cheats once in his life! Don't be such a girl about it!"

"Are you saying you've cheated?" Rinko asked with a smile of her own spreading towards her husband.

"I…NO! I'm the exception!" Nanjiroh said with a nervous laugh.

"Then why can't our son be the exception as well?" Rinko asked tilting her head just so with a smile.

" On second thought, I see no problem in it!" Nanjiroh said getting up to leave.

"Don't worry about what your Otou-san says Ryoma…. Mama will watch him so you get some rest."

"Arigatou Okaa-san…" Ryoma muttered getting up to go to his old room, "Come Karupin…."

Loyally, Karupin followed him upstairs as Rinko stared at her son…. although Nanjiroh had thought he looked a broken, Rinko saw the fire, the life returning to him.

"You've stopped hiding Ryoma…I'm proud of you…" Rinko whispered.

xXx

**4 Days Later**

"Ryoma!!!!"

"What?" Ryoma asked from the living room where he was petting Karupin lovingly.

"Phone!" His mother yelled, "It's Momoshiro!"

"Hai!" Ryoma said tiredly, " Stay here Karupin…" Ryoma ordered as he stood to go to the phone. " What is it Momo-senpai?"

"Ryoma…I heard about your divorce… I'm sorry to hear that…"

"No need to sympathize," Ryoma merely said with a sigh.

"Well…I just wanted to tell you that An and I are moving out of Fuji and your apartment…we finally bought a house so I hope you'll come back to see if you have anything before Fuji or you decide to sell it…."

"Today?"

"Aa…we already moved our things out…but most of the things are Fuji and yours so you two can decide what to do with it…"

"Momo-senpai…."

"I know you have the key so go check it out right now… I got to go help An…talk to you later!"

The phone went dead before Ryoma could say another word. He contemplated if he had anything in that apartment that he wanted…by the time he set out to the apartment with his key, he had figured out that he'd just like to say his goodbye to that small part of his life and get Karupin's old toys.

xXx

"Happy?" Momoshiro asked the smiling man.

"Extremely…I thought why not give it another shot before Fuji leaves tomorrow." Yukimura said. "Thank you for telling me how to rearrange the apartment back to its former glory."

"It's no problem since you found my family a house and everything, I'm glad I can even help." Momoshiro said with a slight bow to Yukimura.

xXx

He watched the scenery pass as he stood silently by the subway's door. The last time he stood here was when Syuusuke had been behind him….

Shaking his head, Ryoma pushed the painful thoughts out of his head. He didn't want to think of that time…he just wanted to move on…

'Please…let me go…' Ryoma pleaded a part of him that would never forget.

xXx

'Never look back,' Ryoma thought silently as he sat on the couch in the apartment. With An and Momoshiro's things gone, everything looked the same as when Fuji and he lived here. But sitting here with everything made 'never look back' hard.

Fighting back the pain that seemed to beat in time with his heart, Ryoma traced a picture Fuji and he had took on the spur of the moment before he left to America. It brought back a old promise…

Ryoma's head jerked up as he heard the apartment door open. " Momo-sen…"

His words died in his throat as he saw Fuji step through the door drenched in rain. It seemed since the last time he saw Fuji, his eyes ha grown tired and his complexion was't too good either…had he been starving?

"Ryoma…" Fuji greeted first.

"Syuu-..Fuji." Ryoma corrected himself

"Don't be like that Ryoma…" Fuji said with a small smile. "It okay to call me Syuusuke…"

"Aa…" Ryoma said and stood from where he sat.

"It hasn't changed at all huh…" Fuji said looking around the apartment.

"No it hasn't…just the people who live in it has changed…." Ryoma said softly pressing a finger against the cool glass of the sliding door…it seemed it was raining hard outside.

"Yes they have…" Fuji agreed after a slight silence.

The awkward silence filled the air again as Ryoma didn't turn around and Fuji fidgeted with his phone.

"So…" Ryoma started, " What do you plan to do with everything?"

"I…I would like to keep this place…" Fuji said, " I want to keep this apartment."

"Okay…" Ryoma merely said as he turned to head to the bedroom. " Let me grab my things and I'll be on my way…"

"Ryoma…I heard about Atobe and you…"

"Hasn't everyone?" Ryoma asked with a sigh. He entered the bedroom and avoided looking at the double-sized bed as he searched for Karupin's toys.

"I'm sorry if I caused it…." Fuji said softly yet Ryoma didn't miss the sadness in his voice.

"It wasn't your fault…it's more like I figured out that I didn't need to hide behind him anymore…" Ryoma said looking at Fuji. He watched as Fuji sat on the bed slowly and he walked over to Fuji. "Don't blame yourself…"

Fuji smiled painfully at his hands, " but I do…everyday I regret what happened between us…"

"So you're saying we should've never been?"

"No!" Fuji said looking up with raw emotion filled eyes. "I don't regret that at all… I just regret my decisions afterwards…I was to naïve in a way…"

Ryoma didn't say anything as he turned to go bag the toys… " Leave it okay… we've already passed all that…"

"I know…"Fuji said and watched Ryoma pack. Although he longed to hold Ryoma, he restrained himself to sit on the bed. He had no right to make a move on Ryoma…he had no right to even love Ryoma anymore! But when he looked at the strength he saw forming behind Ryoma's spirit…when he saw a spark of fire lighting the deadness of his golden eyes, Fuji felt comfort that the Ryoma he loved was rising again…that he was going to be okay!

Fuji smiled lightly to himself…Seeing Ryoma like this comforted him enough…when he flew off tomorrow afternoon, he wouldn't regret so much…because Ryoma was going to be okay…jamming his hand into his pocket his hand touched the coolness of the item I his pocket. Snapping his head up, he remembered what he wanted to leave here if Ryoma hadn't dropped by…

"Ryoma…."

"Hmm?" Ryoma asked whipping around with the bag of things he wanted.

"Even if this means nothing anymore…I want to get it off my chest…I love you…I really do and hope only for the best for you…that's why…I don't think I'm worthy of your love…or this." Fuji withdrew the medal and ring from his pocket. Placing it in Ryoma's hand, he smiled softly. "You have to find someone who deserves you love Ryoma…"

Without another word, Fuji walked passed him into the hall and towards the front door. He didn't look back as he opened it and left swiftly… he knew if he looked back, he'd never be able to let Ryoma go…

xXx

Ryoma stared at the medal and ring in his hands…he had no idea that Fuji ha kept it…he was so sure Fuji was happy with his life and had thrown this away a long time ago…so why was it that it hand ended back into his hand? He heard Fuji leave but he couldn't tell his body to move at all. It was as if he was frozen as the words echoed in his head…Fuji had once again told him he loved him and given him back his medal…. what did this mean? Was Fuji giving him back his heart? Was this really the end between them?

* * *

A/N: Ta da! End of chapter and now I really need all of your **_help_**!!!

Does anyone want me to go back and show Atobe and Tezuka for a bit next chapter?

How should this story end? Is all Yukimura's attempts futile? Should Fuji stay?

Give me a outcome and I'll take the most similar ideas, mix it with my unpredictable writing and give the outcome in the next chapter!

So reviews are crucial! Every vote counts! And you never know….next chapter might be the last!!!


	6. Give Me My Heart

A/N: I hope everyone is happy this isn't the last chapter at all! But it'll bring a bit of closure since the story is now falling towards an end. I do hope though, that this was a worthwhile sequel to 'Waiting For You'. Despite the angst and constant pains, I hope this portrays an overall good story.

As some of you may know, I do try to change my writing style constantly; I do try to make original plots so no one will die of boredom over the overuse of the same situations, and I will always try to portray different kinds of love. In the case of this story, I did use a lot of "Convenient Love" though.

Read and Review as usual to support me!

* * *

blackspica- well I can say Yukimura will be very disappointed if all his hard work for revenge and bringing them together fails. Atobe & Tezuka get their few minutes of fame in this story to no problem there. :) I suppose the blame of who ratted who out was bugging both Tezuka and Atobe. After all, it's not their nature to lose.

abhorsen3- I believe love is blind, so everyone is dumb in the game of love. It's just never logical XD Of course Fuji can still be Ryoma and do his job. Yukimura did mention commuting only when he needed to… but Fuji was bent on leaving.

Angel'sMystery- Starting over isn't always such a bad thing…after all, the basis of their relationship started out wrong and ended wrong so if they have this second chance they should start over ne?

DesperateLoveKoi- :) Well then, I hope the chapter fits with what you were thinking of!

DemonGirl13- The majority agrees with you! As for stay or go… we'll leave that for the airport part.

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- Thank you for the suggestion! It really helps to have a bit of insight on the readers thoughts as well.

Heart Br0ken- Then I will show you the awesomeness! XD

Sweet Obsidian Rain- Well you may enjoy this chapter as well since Yukimura isn't going to be sitting this one out either. Plus, when did I ever make a simple story simple? XD of course it won't be as easy as kiss and makeup…or will it?

animefav- Those two will definitely have a spot in this chapter dedicated to their thoughts and reflection. :) As for Ryoma and Fuji… They get a airport scene all right… it might just not be as you wanted.

irishKaoru- oh don't worry…there will be no rush ending if I get my way XD read on and find out exactly what happens!

just a gal- XP I'm afraid I have a tendency to make a simple story complicated…but I hope that a reason why you read my simple, yet complicated love stories!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Atobe will explain in this chapter what he meant when he was talking to Ryoma. Actually, I believe this chapter will draw the line of how Tezuka viewed Fuji and Atobe viewed Ryoma. I'll settle out their feelings and maybe Ryoma and Fuji's as well.

xcreepyxsusiex- Well I appreciate your thought on the final ending…actually the majority voted with you so….read on to find out if I decided to go with the majority!

Lonely Rain- I believe it's also crucial to show that Ryoma needs him as well since the story always had Fuji running after him. A twist may do…sooner or later!

BlueFreesia- Hmmm… I've considered a few possibilities and hopefully I came up with one you'll agree with XP

flying jade- Well it's been decided that I'll flash a bit to Tezuka and Atobe in this chapter…even Yukimura gets more screen time XD As for a happy ending, that may be decided in this chapter!

* * *

**If It Makes You Happy**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Give Me My Heart**

_Recap_

Ryoma stared at the medal and ring in his hands…he had no idea that Fuji had kept it…he was so sure Fuji was happy with his life and had thrown this away a long time ago…so why was it that it had ended back into his hand? He heard Fuji leave but he couldn't tell his body to move at all. It was as if he was frozen as the words echoed in his head…Fuji had once again told him he loved him and given him back his medal…. what did this mean? Was Fuji giving him back his heart? Was this really the end between them?

xXx

Atobe stared out of his lavishing bedroom window at the rainstorm in silence. Despite being released early to recover in his own house, Atobe felt a bit unsatisfied at how everything ha turned out to one meddling man.

Yukimura Seiichi had never been a favorite on Atobe's list. Something about his smiling features always put Atobe on the highest guard when around the man…now he knew why his bodily instincts hated him on sight…. he was a evil man.

Pulling the curtain close with an exasperated sigh Atobe pushed the loneliness away from his thoughts. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Ryoma and his evenings at home. He missed Ryoma's expressions, the warming conversations, and…his presence actually.

Over the last couple of days without Ryoma, Atobe had come to terms that he wasn't in "Serious" love with Ryoma…it was more like "Sweet crush" love.

Atobe ran a hand through his hair tiredly. He was ready to admit that Ryoma had been a safety net for his sanity as much as he was one for Ryoma.

That day when his driver had almost run over Ryoma had been by pure luck. He hadn't meant to pick the boy up, he hadn't meant to involve himself with the problems and mysteries of love again but he had anyways. He had offered his house and feelings of admiration to try to fill both their hearts. Immediately after he had proposed the idea though, He had regretted it. It wasn't that he didn't like Ryoma; it was the fact that he knew that by liking him wouldn't cover the loss of Jiroh.

Jiroh and he had been together since junior high days but had never dated until the last year of High school. He had spoiled Jiroh and Jiroh had seemingly loved it…but even then, that was not enough for Jiroh to want to stay when he was given the opportunity to study abroad.

"I want to go without you…I think we need to spend some time away from each other…"

That was what Jiroh had said and that was the explanation he got when Jiroh flew off and left him…

'You can't have both,' Atobe thought sadly as he turned off the lights.

"Fuji Syuusuke… you have no idea how much you matter to him…" Atobe muttered into the darkened room. He envied Ryoma's love now…if only he was sure that he was cherished just as much, he would've been happy to die protecting Ryoma.

xXx

"So Seiichi really did something like that…" Sanada muttered form where he stood looking at the rainstorm.

"He did…" Tezuka said from where he was sitting on the sofa.

"I never thought he'd go so far…" Sanada said with a sigh as he moved from where he stood to sit next to Tezuka.

"The things people do for love…" Tezuka said readjusting his position as Sanada slid an arm.

"What's on your mind?" Sanada asked.

"…nothing…" Tezuka said softly leaning against Sanada's shoulder.

Although he said that, he was still stunned that Fuji had been with Ryoma while he was gone. The whole time he talked to Fuji, he had denied having another relationship. It was through the recent conversation with Atobe that he finally understood Fuji's distant stare at Ryoma and Ryoma's pained look towards Fuji.

'Lovers…' Tezuka thought silently. 'Separated because of me…and I didn't even love him as much as Ryoma did…'

Feeling a soft kiss on his forehead, he glanced up to see Sanada looking at him.

"What is it?" Tezuka asked.

"You tell me," Sanada said with a small smile, "You seem distant… is it because of your recent divorce or the talk with Atobe?"

Tezuka grew silent as he pondered what to tell Sanada. He studied Sanada's searching eyes and brushed a hand against his cheek.

"Sanada…do you feel guilty for not loving Yukimura like he loved you?"

Sanada nodded without hesitating. "I felt very guilty…he was so open yet I just couldn't feel the same way… I thought time would make me settle with him but time only brought me to you." Sanada admitted. "Although it hurt to say goodbye to my first crush it's better than lying to myself right?"

Tezuka nodded slowly, "Aa…"

He felt like hitting himself now. Even Sanada said he'd never subject them both to endless pain by pretending like he did. He thought his affair with Sanada overseas was only temporary…he thought anyone would do and married Fuji, his old flame…only to have circled around to realize he really loved Sanada more than ever.

'Gomen Fuji… I wasted your time…and now I may have wasted your chance as well…'

xXx

Ryoma walked home through the rainstorm. He had finally been able to move after Fuji's confession. His heart was confused at the moment…Fuji had told him he love him…but why did he doubt Fuji's words?

Was it because he knew the blunt of the lie it could take? Was it the fact that he didn't want to break again?

So many questions were running through his head and he had no idea what to do. Entering the subway, Ryoma stood by the door and stuffed his hand into his pocket only to feel the medal and ring against his fingers. Taking it out, Ryoma ran his thumb over the inscription of the medal lightly.

'I love him…' Ryoma thought silently. It didn't matter what Fuji had done, he loved that bastard, his heart had chosen him…and that was that.

Ryoma let out a loud sigh as he stared at the grayish scene in front of him as the train moved so quickly blurring everything together. Shifting his gaze he caught sight of his reflection and behind him stood Fuji?

Whipping around, Ryoma eyes widened as Fuji WAS standing behind him…only his head was turned towards the TV. Tears flooded Ryoma's eyes before he could think of anything again. The scene was too familiar, too hurtful, yet this time…this time it was just them.

Ryoma bit his lip a bit as he turned and reached out cautiously. He felt as if he was literally giving his heart again by reaching out now, yet he did anyways. His hand shook from fear that he would be hurt yet his heart was urging him to please try…

Through all those thoughts Ryoma finally tugged at Fuji's arm lightly…and then…he had no idea what to do or say when it was Fuji who turned around. He didn't know what to say as he watched the surprise pass Fuji's face; he didn't know what to do when Fuji gave his attention to him at that moment… and so he followed his instincts.

xXx

Fuji felt horrible for running out on Ryoma…better yet, he felt as if he was taking the easy way out again. Cursing softly Fuji walked towards the subway in the rain slowly. He knew if he stayed with Ryoma there he wouldn't have been able to keep his hands off…but he wanted to stay there, he wanted Ryoma.

A lone tear fell down his face but it didn't matter to Fuji, it blended with the dripping rain that fell so harshly against him. He didn't care if people thought he was crazy walking through the rain with no umbrella, he only wanted to savor the sight of Ryoma…before he left forever.

He had no idea what possessed him to sit in the subway station watching people get in and out of the subway. Somewhere in his head it as chiding him to take the subway and get home, yet there was also a voice telling him he could take his time if he wanted to…no one was waiting for him anyways….

"Are you getting on?"

Fuji's head jerked up to see a little girl staring at him with her huge brown eyes.

"I will…" Fuji said with a smile.

"You should keep moving…its cold here." The little girl finished before her mother ushered her into the departing subway.

"It is…isn't it?" Fuji questioned his numbing hands. Stuffing his hands into his jacket, he stood and walked towards the platform… for sure he'd take the next one, not because he was cold but because he needed to keep moving as the girl said.

'Have to keep going…' Fuji thought silently ignoring the bustle of a few people around him.

Like he promised, Fuji got on the next one and didn't go too far in as he grabbed the closest handle and turned his attention to the television playing, he needed something to side-track him. It didn't help at all…the only scene that played in his head was how Ryoma had tearfully given him the medal he worked so hard to get. Closing his eyes, he tried to will the tears building behind his eyes away but it didn't work.

'Baka! When id you become so emotional?' Fuji questioned himself. He crossed his hands and started concentrating on the weather forecast the weatherman was talking about. The pictures made sense but the words coming out of the weatherman's voice never made it to Fuji's ears. The more he concentrated on the Television set, he stronger the memory of that day…

PULL

Fuji looked down to see a hand pulling on his jacket. He followed the arm to its owner and froze when he saw who it was.

'Why is it happening again?' Fuji thought frantically as Ryoma stared blankly at him. He had no idea what to say to Ryoma…he had no idea what to do…he merely stared at the man he loved.

xXx

Ryoma pushed himself Fuji's embrace and shut his eyes tight as he plastered his face against Fuji's wet chest.

'Please love me…'Ryoma wished frantically as he waited for a reaction from Fuji.

It was so sudden in that moment as Fuji got over his initial shock of Ryoma's bold move and wrapped his arms around Ryoma fiercely and protectively as well. He didn't want to let go…he wanted Ryoma.

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered pushing his face into Ryoma's hair.

"Wait for me…"

"What?" Fuji asked pulling away to see Ryoma teary eyes.

"Wait for me…I want to make the right decision this time…so will you wait for me?" Ryoma asked holding out the medal and ring with shaky hands. Fuji leaned down to press his lip against Ryoma's softly before he grasped the rig and medal I his own hands.

"I will…" Fuji whispered. There was nothing he could do…nothing but wait as Ryoma had once waited for him…

"Thank you…" Ryoma whispered as he closed the distance between them by leaning against him.

Fuji didn't say anything as he gratefully enclosed Ryoma close to him. It'd been too long, too long since the last time they could do this…

"I love you…"Fuji whispered softly against Ryoma's forehead.

"…I know…" Ryoma finally said as Fuji tightened his grip…if he died tomorrow, he'd have no regrets…

xXx

**_2 Days Later_**

"Well don't you seem cheerful again?"

"Yukimura-san," Ryoma said turning around to see the man with a small smile on his face.

"Ryoma…" He greeted in turn as he advanced quickly. "Tell me, what happened between Fuji and you 2 days ago?"

"What do you mean? We came to an understanding." Ryoma said with a weird look. "Why do you ask and how do you even know?"

"Because **I **set that up and now I demand to know why Fuji's at the airport ready to leave to LA and you are here…" Yukimura summed everything he wanted to say in that short phrase.

"What?" Ryoma asked dropping the cup he had been holding.

"You heard me Ryoma…will you come with me to work this out?" Yukimura asked.

He didn't need a reply as Ryoma flew out of the house with HIM in tow.

xXx

**Tokyo Airport**

"Syuusuke!"

Fuji turned slight as he saw Ryoma running towards him with confusion and hurt written all over his face.

"Ryoma…"

"Why?" Ryoma asked stopping in front of him, "You said you'd wait for my reply…why are you leaving me here then?"

"Ryoma…"

"Are you lying again Syuusuke…are you using me again?" Ryoma asked as a tear slid down his cheekbone.

Fuji moved towards Ryoma but Ryoma moved back shaking his head.

"Ryoma you have to understand-"

"Understand what? That you're leaving me...I'm still not good enough?" Ryoma asked bitterly.

"Ryoma…"

"Stop saying my name! If you don't love me then give me my heart back! Give what you took…give what I stupidly gave you!" Ryoma said with a pained face.

"I never give it back Ryoma! If I truly have it then I'll never give it back to you!" Fuji said closing the space between them.

"Give it back so I won't hurt needlessly…" Ryoma said pushing Fuji back.

"No! Ryoma…I have to go for work…not because I'm leaving you!" Fuji said pulling Ryoma into his arms roughly. "I love you…only you."

"Yet you didn't tell me anything." Ryoma accused softly. Although Ryoma sounded ready to explode again, his arms wrapped tightly around Fuji.

"I didn't want it to seem as if I was rushing you to make a decision." Fuji said softly. "But personally Ryoma…I need time away from here… to forget some things and to think over other things."

Ryoma didn't respond as he tightened his grip around Fuji. He knew Fuji needed time…so he shouldn't be greedy right? He should let him go…

"Ryoma-"

"Are you ever coming back?" Ryoma finally asked.

"Why would I keep our apartment if I didn't want to come back?" Fuji asked as light-hearted as he could.

Ryoma didn't say anything else as he pressed his lips against Fuji's insistently. Fuji opened under the demand and each fought to control the rise of emotions within the kiss. At the moment, each lived for the moment and nothing more…to love was easy, the rest was complicated. Both of them knew the other needed time and space…and between that time period, they'd figure out their feelings.

Breaking the kiss, Ryoma gripped Fuji's hand hard as they called for the passengers heading to LA.

"Ryoma…"

Ryoma merely managed a tight smile for Fuji's sake and let his hand go abruptly. "Go…"

"I…" Fuji started but couldn't think of what he wanted to say at all. Everything in his mind was in a jumble right now but he knew he wanted to say something to Ryoma!

"I'll be okay…" Ryoma said softly as he turned to go to where Yukimura was waiting.

"He…what is he doing here?" Fuji demanded.

"He was my ride…" Ryoma said softly as he started walking away from Fuji…suddenly he felt a jerk on his arm and then a tight hug.

"Go with me Ryoma…let's break away from here for a while and start over…"

Ryoma eyes widened slightly as he saw a determined look on Fuji's face.

"Syuusuke…"

"I mean it…come with me!"

* * *

A/N: Oh darn! The end of the chapter :D

But review and the next update will finish this story up. Did he go? Did he stay? It'll all be answered in the last chapter!


	7. If It Makes You Happy

A/N: This is the **FINAL** chapter and **NO ** there will not be a sequel to this sequel because I think Syuusuke and Ryoma's story has ended here! XD I hope you enjoyed their emotional story as I had writing it. Their roller coaster ride is coming to a stop and I hope you'll continue to support me through my other stories!

Now I have some questions I'd appreciate all of you answer in a review for this story if possible.

This input from you will influence my future format and stories so please do tell me your thoughts or else it may not be to your liking later!

**Quick Questions People:**

Should I start writing old storylines again? Some people asked me to try writing like everyone else again for a bit and leave my weird original storylines…I don't know…what do you guys want to see? Something like everyone else with my twists or something new that practically no one in the PoT fandom thinks about but me?

Does anyone bother reading the A/N? BE HONEST, Because if you guys don't, I don't know where to leave my little thoughts unless you're willing to check my profile! Which leads into my next question!

Are you willing to check my profile for update dates, polls, and other such stuff? Because if everyone is willing then to find out my next mass release or to have a opinion on my polls will be located there from now on.

Should I only write 1-2 stories at a time instead of 5 or 6? Some people have mentioned that they have to reorganize their brains for each update they read from me because they sometimes confuse characters and storyline. What do you all think?

Does Mass release sound better or individual release? This question is an attempt to ask people what the feel more comfortable with. I started Mass releases because I could release all at the same time and read over all my reviews from all of you at the same time through all my stories so it was a nice little bunch to go through for an hour or so. BUT I can always readjust back to individual releases if it makes everyone feel better!

Does everyone like the chapter previews at the end of the chapter or can you go without it? I'm just curious since I added that recently to some of my stories to test out if everyone would kind of like to know what to expect…but I don't know…your opinion counts!

(Leave your reply in your review as well or e-mail it to me… I might take a hiatus to rethink my stories depending on everyone's answer.)

Read and Review as usual to support me!

* * *

mynoan- We'll all I can say is that if it made you do all that then I did my job! XD But more than that I just wanted to show different sorts of love to everyone; after all 'love' is used so loosely now that I feel it has lost most of its meaning. 

MysticBlood- no matter how much I love reviews I hope you did all right on your test…hopefully the chapter didn't make you too emo to study XP

MARYLOVER- ) Hehe… sometimes you may be on the right road… anyways, I'm sorry if I didn't reply to everyone. I was a bit busy then but I'm adjusting my schedule and I finally have enough time to write to everyone! I hope you enjoy the emotional chapters because there's only so much words can explain )

abhorsen3- I understand stupidity but this is emotions after all. ) You'll hear all about it from Yukimura in the Omake XD

The only thing you need to promise me is a review because it's the last chapter and the end of their adventure! )

DesperateLoveKoi- :) It was a bit short but clarifying so I hope that brought aroud a bit of everyone's thought! Of course I'll always update though so you all have something to look forward to!

DemonGirl13- Update is here! Hopefully it'll bring a closure and wonderful review from you XD

Rebecca-sanFujiEijiLVR- Of course I won't forget about Yukimura- the master schemer nor Tezuka and Atobe. They may have short parts in here but the end will signify a understanding between all of them as well. )

Heart Br0ken- Is it obvious? Nothing is usually obvious if I'm writing it. XD not unless you all want a classic end :D

But what's the fu in that?

Sweet Obsidian Rain- TY for always telling me so…you have no idea how many I catch myself after posting XP I'm going to have to edit these one day! But until then I'm glad you spot them out for me! )

irishKaoru- Hehe… who knows if he'll go with Fuji…but we'll see!

just a gal- The chapter was to bring a small closure to the other supporting characters and focus on the two main as they start to move into the next phase of their life ) As for Somewhere In-between, the last chapter is here with the this release so do enjoy the end of their week with the Royal pair as well… although don't confuse the Ryoma's and Fuji's in the story… I sometimes mix them in my mind when I write so many chapters one after another XD

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- You should know by now how I love leaving you guys hanging ) Anyways it now all comes down to it so here we go!

xcreepyxsusiex- True…I confuse myself so much when I write this story because there's so many ways I can take it.

Selyn- ) I had to add the previous scenes in there to show a bit of reflection. After all, they matured from the situation and as a special point not to disappoint anyone, I added multiple love affairs that drew everyone into one big mess.

Yukimura may seem like an angel but you must remember, he did tell Fuji and Ryoma that he only warned them because Tezuka and Atobe landed on his bad side. But that, of course doesn't make him less a genius than Fuji.

As for them being together, that's to be decided on this chapter and who knows who's the seme and uke… they both seem to have their moments on who tops who XD

Omake? HAHA

I added it just for you!

BlueFreesia- Hmmm… I love making people anticipate, cry smile… everything actually… I pretty upon emotions LOL

But any way I do hope you'll continue to read other stories from me and assist me in future on other stories with your opinion!

Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune- ) I'm glad you liked that scene! I thought it was needed after such a heartbreaking one in the first story…I thought they needed a moment to reflect in the same place so it won't always be a sad memory they have.

* * *

**If It Makes You Happy**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Everything is okay on the outside, but the turmoil of the heart may bring back one incident, two wounds and a thousand regrets. Packed with drama, revenge, jealously, angst and so much more.

* * *

**Chapter 7: If It Makes You Happy**

_Recap_

"Go with me Ryoma…let's break away from here for a while and start over…"

Ryoma eyes widened slightly as he saw a determined look on Fuji's face.

"Syuusuke…"

"I mean it…come with me!"

xXx

"Syuusuke…" Ryoma whispered as he felt Fuji wrap an arm around him possessively.

"Will you come with me?" Fuji asked once more.

For a moment a silence passed through as they looked at each other and although it was brief Fuji feared he already knew the answer…

"I can't…"

"Why not?" Fuji asked looking at Ryoma who held a small smile on his lips. Somehow he knew Ryoma would refuse already but he wanted to ask anyways…holding on to the hope that he might've said yes.

"Because I don't have anything with me," Ryoma pointed out, "Besides…I have no reason to go at the moment…"

"So you don't want to be with me?" Fuji asked softly. It hurt to know that Ryoma felt he had no reason to accompany him…

"NO!" Ryoma said with a frown, "I do…but I think we need some time to ourselves…to see if we really feel the same."

Although Fuji didn't want to even think about a break, he knew it was what was needed. Slowly he nodded slightly before he pressed his forehead against Ryoma's. "Okay…then I'll go…and this time I'll wait for you there."

Ryoma closed his eyes and nodded softly, "Okay…when I'm ready I'll come to you…"

Fuji nodded in understanding. He gripped Ryoma softly on the shoulder and looked at Ryoma almost uncertainly.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked. It seemed Fuji wanted to say something but was hesitating…

"When you come Ryoma…I hope you can start playing again…" Fuji said softly pressing a soft kiss onto Ryoma's forehead.

"Playing?" Ryoma asked unconsciously resting his hands on Fuji's hips gently as he mulled over what Fuji was asking.

"Tennis Ryoma…I want you to play tennis again." Fuji said looking at Ryoma intently.

"I…I'll think about it," Ryoma said after a while.

"Okay," Fuji said tightening his hand on one of Ryoma's hand. " I want you to…"

"Have a safe trip," Ryoma said finally.

"Aa…" Fuji said with a small smile. He knew he would never regret loving Ryoma, whatever the outcome maybe later he'd always remember the love Ryoma gave him.

Letting go of Ryoma, Fuji took a step back…he wondered if Ryoma would miss him as Ryoma turned away to walk towards Yukimura.

Ryoma, on the other hand wondered the exact thing as he walked away slowly. Fuji wasn't quite gone yet but he already missed him…

His impulse told him to immediately leave with Fuji but he knew they needed this time apart as well. Both of them needed to sort a lot of things out and the best thing they could do at the moment is sort it out separately.

xXx

**4 Years Later**

"Are you happy Seishounen?"

"Aa…"

"So he's that everything huh?"

"Aa…He's everything I want and need…he says all the right things at exactly the wrong times but I love him anyways."

Nanjiroh laughed, "All right! I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then."

"Aa…"

Nanjiroh hung up with a slight smirk. His son was coming home…happy this time.

xXx

"Who was that?" Fuji asked sliding an arm around Ryoma's waist from behind him.

"My father…he just wanted to know if we would still be flying there early tomorrow morning." Ryoma said leaning into his embrace.

"Oh…" Fuji merely muttered as he pressed a quick kiss to the side of Ryoma's head and let go.

"Where are you going?" Ryoma asked turning to follow Fuji with his eyes.

"To finish the latest design for the magazine before we leave tomorrow morning." Fuji said sitting at his desk.

"Heh…" Ryoma sighed, "Fine, I'll just shower and go to bed."

"Aa…" Fuji muttered as he began gathering different papers together. A faint smile played on his lips as he listened to Ryoma's feet shuffling towards their bedroom.

As soon as he heard the faint sound of the bathroom door shutting, Fuji placed all the papers he had already finished away and started towards the bedroom. Taking off his clothes on the way to the bathroom, he knew Ryoma would never lock the bathroom door and snuck in. Fuji smiled softly as he made out Ryoma's figure through the haze of steam. He slid the curtain aside enough to slide in behind Ryoma and watched as his cute lover bent a bit to grab his shampoo. Reaching over, Fuji brushed his fingertips against Ryoma's nipples and felt the rush when he heard Ryoma's breath hitch and a slight moan escape.

"Syuusuke…" Ryoma said turning to face him, "I thought you had work to do…"

"I'm done." Fuji assured pulling his lover against his hardening erection against Ryoma's. A slight groan escaped both of their lips as Ryoma wrapped an arm around Fuji's neck tightly and brought his lips to Fuji's. Obliging to his demand, Fuji bent and kiss Ryoma softly as he took his time grazing his hands down Ryoma's back.

"Ryoma…" Fuji moaned out against Ryoma's lips. "We can't play late or else we'll never make our morning flight…"

"Then why are you taking your time…" Ryoma asked pumping Fuji's erection while looking innocently at Fuji.

"Baka…" Fuji muttered and pinned Ryoma against the wall. "We'll see who's taking their time now…"

xXx

**On the Way to Japan**

Ryoma smiled lightly as he brushed a hand thorough Fuji's hair. Fuji was exhausted after they played last night and worked through the first part of their flight. It didn't seem like they were together for 3 years at all…it seemed as if they had been together since forever.

After Fuji had left him 4 years ago to go to America, Ryoma realized exactly how much he missed Fuji presence. He moved back to their apartment only to find emptiness and even started to play tennis again…but he found it quite lonely if he wasn't playing with his father.

Gradually during the year apart, he grew closer to Yukimura and Kirihara since they always happened to check up on him. Together, the three of them decided that Ryoma had to become the confident Ryoma before he could go back to Fuji. It had taken a year of constant practice to become what he once was professionally and when he did reach that peak again, he found the passion he lost to want to go on farther than that. With Yukimura's help Ryoma was always aware that Fiji was doing well and slowly he started to live life again knowing on the other side of the ocean Syuusuke was waiting.

When he was finally able to enter into the professional tennis field again, he immediately participated in the US Open so he could go see Fuji…he remembered that day clearly…

"_You're sure?" Yukimura asked handing Ryoma the ticket as people started boarding the plane._

_Ryoma nodded with a confident smile. "I'm ready to be me again…"_

_Yukimura studied his expression for a while before he nodded. "Aa… I think I see the lively Ryoma I used to watch on TV again."_

_Ryoma mouth twisted up in a smile. "Thank you…"_

_Yukimura smiled, "For what?"_

"_For everything you've done to show Syuusuke and me we…we need each other."_

_Yukimura nodded brushing Ryoma's cheek lightly, "Aa…so you better live a damn happy life for every second I had to help."_

_Ryoma nodded, "We will…does he know I'm going?"_

_Yukimura shook his head. " He doesn't…I called him last night and it seems he knows nothing of you returning to professional tennis or even of the trip you're taking to participate in the US Open."_

"_He must've been busy if he didn't see the national broadcast!" Ryoma smiled._

"_According to him, he is!" Yukimura said with his own faint smile, "I think he needs you to go recharge him…he sounds tired."_

_Ryoma merely nodded gripping his plane ticket hard. "Hopefully he's still waiting for me…"_

_SMACK!_

"_Itai!" Ryoma said turning to face a frowning Yukimura now. "What?"_

"_Don't you think like that!" Yukimura stated, "He's waiting and that's that!"_

"_Aa…" Ryoma said and grabbed his duffel bag, "Well… I'm off!"_

_Yukimura nodded, "Go and win!"_

_Ryoma nodded and turned towards the terminal. His hope, his future was all ahead of him at that moment..._

"Ryoma…"

"Hmm?" Ryoma asked glancing at Fuji.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep…"

"Iie…" Ryoma said with a smile, "You were exhausted…"

"What were you thinking about? You seemed lost in thoughts…"

"I was thinking about the time when I came to you…" Ryoma said readjusting himself so Fuji could be more comfortable.

"Oh…that was so many years ago…" Fuji said with a soft smile.

"To you?" Ryoma asked.

Fuji nodded, "Since then we had three years together right?"

"Aa…" Ryoma said softly tangling his hands through Fuji's.

Fuji gripped his hand softly as he twisted his head to press a soft kiss against Ryoma's cheek, "You completed my life that day…"

"Did I?" Ryoma asked with a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Aa…I'll never forget how you ended up on my doorstep that night…"Fuji said closing his eyes lightly as the memories came flooding back…

_Fuji rubbed his head a bit as he awoke to the doorbell ringing._

'_Saa…who would visit me?' Fuji thought tiredly as he stood to go open the door. Swinging the door open he peered out only to have something attach to him. Fully awake now he noted the pulled down cap and the strong arms around him…_

"_Ryoma?" Fuji murmured in disbelief._

"_Did I wake you?"_

"_Aa…but I don't mind…" Fuji muttered looking him over to make sure it was Ryoma…it was too good to be true after a whole year and 2 months…_

"_My flight got in a bit late…I didn't realize you'd be sleeping at weird times…" Ryoma muttered finally peeling himself off._

"_It's fine," Fuji insisted grabbing hold of Ryoma's hand, "You…you're here…"_

_Ryoma smiled, "Do you want me to tell you the whole story at the door?"_

_Fuji moved immediately and helped him bring in his luggage. "You should've told me you were coming…I'd have picked you up-"_

"_I wanted to surprise you," Ryoma stated dropping his duffel bag and tennis bag in the living room._

"_Well you did…" Fuji said setting the rest of his luggage there as well. He glanced up to see Ryoma studying his expression. "What is it?"_

"_Nothing…I was just trying to etch your memory in mind…" Ryoma said before he was pulled into a crushing embrace._

"_Baka…you don't have to remember only…you have to love me too…" Fuji whispered bending to capture his willing lips in a hard kiss._

"_I missed you…" Ryoma managed to mutter out somewhere in the mist of the draining kiss._

_Fuji merely nodded after he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Ryoma's. Walking Ryoma backwards, he pushed Ryoma onto the sofa he had been sleeping on earlier and sat down as well._

"_Then your trip here…was it to answer me?" Fuji asked after settling next to him. He felt Ryoma's arms encircle him and saw Ryoma nod._

"_That is why I'm here right?" Ryoma teased._

"_I hope so…" Fuji said drawing Ryoma into his own embrace as well. Glancing at Ryoma's figure, he noted there was no sign of fatigue or problems with Ryoma. Actually… it was all different. "You've been working out…" Fuji muttered noticing his legs had his calf muscles fully back._

"_Aa…I'm playing tennis again…" Ryoma said softly._

_Fuji whipped his head around to look at Ryoma with emotion-filled eyes. "Really?"_

_Ryoma nodded pressing his lips to Fuji lightly. "I wanted to be 'me' before I came for you…so here I am…me..."_

_Fuji pushed his head against Ryoma's as a small smile touched his lips, "You've always been Ryoma to me…"_

"_But not the Ryoma I should've been at the time of your departure last year." Ryoma said. _

"_I love you…" Fuji murmured_

"_I hope so…" Ryoma said with a smile, "I hoped you were still waiting…"_

"_I'll always be waiting for you…even if I don't realize it, you're always the one!" Fuji said softly._

"_Then will you watch my game on TV?" Ryoma asked suddenly._

"_Your game?" Fuji questioned._

"_The US Open in New York…" Ryoma said with a nod._

"_Then…"_

"_I stopped in Manhattan to see you and tell you face to face." Ryoma said with a small smile. "I've decided to complete my dream…so I hope you'll support it…"_

_Crushing Ryoma into another embrace, Fuji closed his eyes in relief as he spoke, "Baka…I'll always support your dream…because I want us both to do what we love the most"_

_Ryoma nodded wrapping his arms around Fuji as well. "Thank you…"_

"_Did you really think I'll watch you on TV?" Fuji asked after a moment._

"_You won't?" Ryoma asked trying to mask the hurt although it clearly showed on his face._

"_Of course I won't!" Fuji declared pressing his head against Ryoma's. "I want to be there with you every step of the way."_

"_Syuusuke…" Ryoma uttered staring into Fuji's blue eyes. "Aa…I want you there as well."_

" It's been a while since then ne?" Ryoma muttered to Fuji.

"Aa… but we completed your dream and you were finally able to hand me another medal for winning the Grand Slam again right?" Fuji said stretching a bit to soothe his limbs.

"True…it took lots of work but I did it with you by my side." Ryoma said staring out to the clouds that they passed.

"Do you miss Japan?" Fuji asked before pressing an affectionate kiss on Ryoma's cheek.

"I do… but I don't regret leaving this place to be with you." Ryoma said turning to face Fuji.

"That's good." Fuji said, "I can't wait to go back to our apartment."

"It's probably all dusty…" Ryoma joked.

"It better not be… or else I'll kill Yukimura!" Fuji said with a small smile.

"Is he the housekeeper?" Ryoma asked amused at the thought of his harsh trainer cleaning an apartment. Actually the thought of the fragile man choking on dust widened his smile.

"He's so rich, I'm pretty sure he had someone clean it for us Ryo-kun…" Fuji said rubbing Ryoma's arm lightly. "But first we have to stop by where?"

"My parent's house…Karupin…" Ryoma said immediately.

"That's right…" Fuji said with a smile as he watched his lover's eyes light up at the mention of his Himalayan cat. Although Karupin was a very old cat now, she stayed with them in America for two years and they shipped her back to Japan when it seemed her health was getting too fragile and with the schedule both Ryoma and he ran wasn't going to cover Karupin's needs.

"Do you think she's okay? I haven't seen her in almost 2 years…" Ryoma said with a worried frown.

"She's fine," Fuji concluded with sincerity. "There's still another four hours…want to exercise a bit?"

Ryoma stared at Fuji as if he lost his mind. "How are you going to exercise on a plane? I refuse to look like dumbass…you can exercise by yourself!"

"But the exercise I'M talking about involves you and me in the bathroom…" Fuji said with a smile.

A slight blush swept through Ryoma's face before a scowl replaced it. "Baka! It's too suspicious!"

"Why? We're first-class passengers! Who's going to know?" Fuji asked with a small pout.

"For one thing, both of those flight attendants that can't seem to keep their eyes off you Syuusuke!" Ryoma complained noticing the girl had passed their section once again with a smile.

"Ryoma, there's no need to get jealous just because they offered me a drink and peanuts." Fuji said feeling very satisfied that his Ryo-chan was jealous.

"Yet they didn't offer me any!" Ryoma complained. "I'm not jealous either!"

"If you come with me to the bathroom I can show you how much you mean to me…" Fuji muttered against Ryoma's ear.

"Baka! I told you WE aren't doing THAT!" Ryoma said as the stood and went to the bathroom.

"Eh… yet he still went…" Fuji said with a smile. Standing as well, he made his way with Ryoma to the bathroom…it'd be quick but well worth it to listen to Ryoma's cute moans.

xXx

"Welcome home Seishounen!" Nanjiroh said pulling Ryoma's cap all the way down.

"Oyaji…" Ryoma managed to growl out.

"Echizen-san…" Fuji greeted.

"Oi Seishounen…did the plane ride make you cranky? You're worse than usual!" Nanjiroh said after nodding a welcome to Fuji.

"He just had an unfortunate accident in the bathroom of the plane…" Fuji said with a smile to Nanjiroh.

"What kind of accident? Did you fall over and hurt your back?" Nanjiroh asked.

"Actually his back aches for a totally different matter…" Fuji said after a moment.

"That's enough!" Ryoma said glaring at Fuji, "You're in trouble when we get home!"

"Trouble?" Fuji asked following them to the baggage department. "I like that…"

"Mada mada dane…" Ryoma muttered walking away from both Nanjiroh and Fuji.

xXx

_**Elsewhere**_

"Come on," Yukimura coaxed.

"I got back late last night… let me sleep a bit more…" Kirihara complained.

"But you slept through the whole day already," Yukimura pointed out, "it's already time to go see Syuusuke and Ryoma!"

"Eh?" Kirihara said opening his eyes enough o stare at the clock, "It's already 6pm?"

Yukimura nodded, "Let's get moving if we want to meet up with everyone at their house."

"Are you sure it's okay to just go over?" Kirihara asked sitting up with a yawn.

"Syuu-chan gave me the key for a reason years ago!" Yukimura stated with a 'sincere' smile.

Kirihara resisted the urge to shiver as he wondered what his lover was up to. Walking towards the bathroom, Kirihara flung his shirt off lazily and started the water for a quick shower.

xXx

"Just unlock the door!" Ryoma snapped as Fuji opened the door tot heir apartment.

"Eh? There's two sets of shoes…" Fuji murmured looking towards the ground.

"Then that means… Yukimura-sempai?" Ryoma called out wandering towards the living room only to find it empty.

"Where is he then?" Fuji asked wrapping an arm around Ryoma.

"I don't know…" Ryoma said scanning the kitchen and living room for some sign of life.

"Well the apartment isn't dusty." Fuji said looking around.

"Yeah…" Ryoma muttered as he tried to move out of Fuji's embrace only to be pulled back against Fuji. " What?"

"So I don't get punished?" Fuji asked walking Ryoma towards their bedroom.

"Oi… now's not the time-"

"Ryo-baby… anytime is the time, "Fuji said with a slight chuckle opening their bedroom door.

Both froze as they watched Yukimura Seiichi pull on his shirt and Kirihara zipping his pants while their bed looked thoroughly used.

"Sorry Fuji… we borrowed the bed when you two didn't quite show up on time…" Yukimura said shamelessly taking his time to button his shirt, "it seems we beat you to it…"

There was no answer as Fuji merely stared at the used bed sheets while Ryoma was staring at Yukimura with disbelief.

DING DONG

"Ah… the guests have arrived," Yukimura said and walked pass the two that were like statues at the moment. "If you two would excuse me…" Yukimura murmured with an amused tone as he slipped out into the hall and to the front door.

"Sorry…" Kirihara muttered as he also slipped by.

"Well… what a welcome ne Ryoma?" Fuji said letting his lover go.

"Aa… do we have spare sheets tonight?" Ryoma calmly asked.

"I think so…but what guests are we expecting?" Fuji questioned turning off the light in their room before leading Ryoma towards the living room.

"I'm not so-"

"So you did go back to him…"

Ryoma and Fuji turned to see Atobe, Jiroh, Tezuka and Sanada walk into the living room.

"Atobe…" Ryoma greeted.

"Funny see all of you here…" Fuji murmured wrapping an arm around Ryoma's waist.

"Yukimura thought we all needed to be friends," Atobe said with a frown to the smiling man.

"We should all get along…"

"After you ruined our lives?" Atobe asked.

"FIXED!" Yukimura said with a smile, " After all Atobe, You're a happy man with Jiroh by your side and Tezuka and Sanada have recently married right?"

Atobe merely let out a 'che' while Tezuka and Sanada shifted uncomfortably since they didn't know what the reaction of Fuji and Ryoma would be at that.

"after all, aren't you all a lot happier?" Yukimura pushed.

Not one person spoke for the longest time until am agreement sounded.

"I am…" Fuji said wrapping an arm tightly around Ryoma now. "I don't regret what happened after a lot of thought… I believe it taught me who I really loved and if I have to do it all again to be with Ryoma I would."

"Syuusuke…" Ryoma muttered craning his neck to look at his lover.

"I think we all just inconvenienced ourselves…" Tezuka finally said. "I should've have settled with what I believed what would last."

"I suppose I shouldn't have made such an offer as well…" Atobe said, "But Ore-sama had your best health in mind!"

"I know…I think this all taught us something…" Ryoma added.

"I hope so…" Yukimura said with a smile.

"So I hope we can all heal the wounds between us?" Sanada said looking at Yukimura directly.

Another silence passed as Yukimura didn't say anything. He had lost his smile and was looking quite serious now…. that was until he felt Ryoma's and Kirihara's hands touch his lightly.

Giving them both a smile he looked back at Sanada, "Aa…let's let it heal…"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**OMAKE**:

Yukimura- Well that concludes the main story… unless you'd all like to hear about my side of the story then-

Kirihara- Why don't we just take a look back at all the chapters at what everyone really thought… for example; in chapter four, Yukimura was giving hints to Ryoma…

Yukimura- Seriously, Ryo-chan is so dense! I was telling him the truth! It wasn't even a hint! It was better than a hint and he still didn't get it!

Kirihara- He is pretty slow huh?

Ryoma- what do you expect? It was unbelievable! Telling me Monkey-king was seeing Jiroh!

Yukimura- Fuji wasn't any brighter…you both were clueless! But then again I took many losses for the both of you!

Ryoma- what losses?

Kirihara- Seiichi had to bribe Momoshiro

Fuji- Bribe?

Yukimura- oh yes! I had to find him a place to live, rearrange your house so it'll trigger memories for you two clueless people, make sure Syuu-chan was home, Make sure Ryo-chan was home, AND bribe Momoshiro to call you up! That's like seven things already!

Kirihara- That wasn't seven things… But Momoshiro even said it felt like you were using him…

Yukimura- But I was…I won't deny it. As for the hot kissing scene on the subway and at the airport was great eye candy for some people and horrifying for young mothers I believe! We should've censored that more…

Fuji- Wait how do you know about the subway one?

Yukimura- …Don't get careless!

Kirihara- (stares) Stalker… Anyways Review and add lots of love for me even though it didn't show me all too much!

A/N: And that ends this tale! They have all gone their separate ways and are seemingly happy so I hope you all enjoyed this story and will review in your final thoughts! Thank you for reading and please continue to read other stories from me!


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